Pure Heart, White Mage
by Mikkeneko
Summary: Kidnapping, curses, and assassination - in the midst of a political and religious upheaval, Fai must choose between preserving his faith and protecting those he loves. AU, K/F, S/S, remix fic. Violence, religious themes.
1. The Knight's Farewell

**Title**: Pure Heart, White Mage  
><strong>Rating<strong>: PG-13  
><strong>Warnings: <strong> Angst, religious themes  
><strong>Spoilers<strong>: None; AU from canon.

**Summary**: Kidnapping, curses, and assassination - and at the middle of it all is the Puritan Church. In the midst of a political and magical upheaval, Fai must face the choice between preserving his faith - and protecting those he loves.

**Author's Note:_ Please read this note or you may be very confused._**

This fic was written for the remix challenge held on the kuroxfai community on Livejournal in October 2011. That means that it was intentionally and deliberately modeled on another author's fic, to the extent that some sections of the text are nearly word-for-word with the original. **This was done with the author's knowledge and permission.** Please do not accuse me of plagiarism or unoriginality if parts of this fic seem uncannily familiar to you.

The fic being remixed is _Black Cat, White Mage_ by sweetjerry/Lotten; you can find the original by going through my Favorite Author's tab to Lotten's page.

* * *

><p><em>As many good stories do, this one begins with a princess spirited away in the night. Except of course, that's not the whole truth of it. A story has many beginnings, all of them equally important. And in this particular story, a good number of events are just as essential as the king and queen finding the princess' cot empty one morning.<em>

_This story also begins with a magician who decided to break away from the church that had he had served all his life, in order to gather like-minded souls around him and preach the doctrines of Hell. It begins with a blessed knight in shining armor who went to fight in God's name in a distant land, and saw more hideous things done in God's name than he had ever seen in his nightmares. It begins with a young boy crawling into the sheltered lintel of a church doorway to escape the rain, shivering and alone, never knowing that a new life awaited him on the other side. It begins with a dissipated old king forsaking his wife and daughters and rebelling against all godly law and tradition, in search of a woman who could bear him a male heir._

_One beginning of this story – perhaps the most important one – concerns two priests who took vows of purity and chastity in the sight of God, and the two men whom they fell in love with, and the one who chose to honor his vows and the other who did not._

_But for the purposes of telling this very story, which would undoubtedly be a horribly tangled mess if one was to attempt to pursue all parts of it at once, the princess gone missing is a good way to start._

* * *

><p>Fai ran through the hallways with his heart in his mouth, dodging around the brothers and sisters with hasty, breathless apologies as his feet pounded against the tile floor. It was almost two miles from the College of Mages to the dormitories housing the local chapter of the Knights Templar, and he had run most of the way - after the news he'd heard, he could hardly do less.<p>

He had walked these same corridors hundreds of time, and the beauty of the polished tile floors, the exquisitely detailed paintings on the walls, and the splashes of vivid light spilling through the round stained-glass windows above had never failed to bring peace to his mind and wonder to his spirit. But not today.

He burst through the door without knocking, and his heart plummeted into his shoes as he took in the details of the small room; the clothes and equipment spread out on the bed, halfway through the process of packing. The bare emptiness of the display case under the window, where the mark of the _Miles Christi _ should have hung. The tall, heavyset man with the messy hair and the forge-hot eyes and the left arm missing below the elbow, the sight of whom had never failed to bring light to his eyes and joy to his heart. But not today.

"Going somewhere?" Fai inquired, and it took all the self-possession he owned to make it a light, teasing query and not an accusation.

Kurogane looked at him for a long moment, then set his jaw tightly and turned back to his packing. "Rumor travels faster than prayer, they say," he said in a flat voice. "I see it's true."

"How? How could you leave?" The words burst out of Fai in a rush, and he could hear his own fear, his own neediness in the frantic accusation of his tone. "You were always the most righteous, the greatest among all the sacred knights. You're an inspiration to all the younger ones. Why would you abandon them - abandon us?"

"You wouldn't understand," Kurogane said in a tone of quiet disgust. "And you won't like the answer, so don't ask."

"But why?" Fai asked in a fit of frustration. The Holy Sorcerers and the Knights Templar were brother Orders under the Puritan church - they ran by different tempos, but Kurogane had been stationed in this compound almost as long as Fai had. Indeed, he'd taken pains to assure that he would not be transferred somewhere else, as he found himself preferring Kurogane's company over anyone else's.

Part of it was deep-seated respect and admiration, for Kurogane was the very epitome of a knight in shining armor. Already the scourge of the bandits of the north by the time he'd joined the Order, he lost his arm defending the walled town of Rauma from an unexpected raid from over the Nihon border. Despite being the only belted knight in the town he'd held them off for three days before a troop of Miletes Christi arrived to lift the siege, his matchless faith and spectacular military prowess inspiring the timid _agricolae_ to join in the defense of the walls with only mattocks and shovels to use as weapons. He'd been awarded a ribbon from King Fujitaka for that, as well as a commendation and blessing from the Holy Father himself.

Even before then, he'd been as well known for his humility and piety as for his fearsome skills in combat; there was a story told to all the new squires about the time he'd been late for a ceremony because he'd given his horse to an old woodcutter struggling under his load, and walked back to town in the dust. When asked, he only commented that he'd never liked that horse.

He embodied all the virtues of charity and faith that a knight was supposed to possess, and he'd become almost a walking legend. But there was more than admiration for his virtues that attracted him to Kurogane, Fai admitted to himself when he was being honest. Kurogane was not only strong but well-formed, tall and graceful, with a face as strikingly beautiful as an archangel. Many times Fai had visited his chambers in the Templar's wing after vespers and not departed until near dawn, losing himself in the thoughtful conversation and dreamlike trance of Kurogane's presence. At times he'd even seen a heat in Kurogane's eyes that matched the dark stirrings in his own body, and he always had to be careful to pull himself back, lest the accidental brush of his fingers over Kurogane's should turn into something more dangerous.

The thought of life in this sleepy village without Kurogane nearly paralyzed him with the panic of loss, and he desperately sought some justification for Kurogane's unthinkable desertion. "Do you feel like you can't fight any more? Is it - is it because of -" His hand flickered out hesitantly to indicate Kurogane's missing arm.

"What, this? After the months I spent learning to fight all over again one-handed?" Kurogane snorted at the very idea. "Hell, no. It wasn't losing my arm that made this decision for me. It was losing my faith."

"Then why?" Fai said passionately. "Of all the people to lose their way to darkness and leave the path of the Templars, I never thought it would be you! You always believed, you always served, you carried the banner of the Knights Templar into battle in the Holy Land, and -"

"And you never have!" Kurogane snarled, spinning to face Fai once again. The sheer venom and fury in his voice took Fai aback; he'd never seen this look on Kurogane's face before, never. "So don't get on your high horse and lecture me, _Revered Mage_; you don't know what you're talking about and you have no right to judge me!"

Fai sat back on his heels, the wind taken out of his sails. More protestations crowded in his throat, but he was at a loss to express them - at a loss to find words to wrap around his shock and disbelief that Kurogane could actually consider leaving the Puritan Church, actually consider turning his back on God, no matter what the cause. Only heretics and apostates did that, but he knew Kurogane too well to believe that he had fallen into such evil; and confusion battled with betrayal and heartbreak and anger within him.

"The things I saw there - the things I saw done - have made sure that any spark of piety I felt is long since dead and drowned," Kurogane said in a low, taut voice. "The pious glory of the Templars is all a lie, I've seen through it now. The _Pax Dei _is just a bunch of pretty-sounding words. As soon as they think they can get away with it, those 'holy knights' degrade into the worst beasts that the whole of humanity has to offer."

"What are you talking about?" Fai said uneasily. "Are you saying that these things - these things which so shook your faith - were done by _our own side?"_

"I saw men wearing this symbol -" Kurogane's one hand crumpled around the tabard that usually covered his armor, and flung it violently to the floor. "- Saw them cut the throats of matrons and children huddling in their kitchens, saw them fire buildings where old men and women lay bedridden. I _saw_ them drag maidens and young boys screaming into their tents, and their own fellows set on me when I moved to stop them! Unless you're going to try to tell me that since those were _infidel_ babies and elders, mothers and daughters and sons, that slaughtering and defiling them in defiance of the Pax is _righteous?"_

"No!" Fai said, shocked by the litany of horrors Kurogane recounted. He'd always known in an objective, distant way that war always led to such atrocities - but he hadn't believed, had never imagined that the same would go for the holy war that was the Crusades. He'd wanted to believe that the men of the Puritan Church were better than that - because he knew that Kurogane was.

Kurogane turned his back on Fai. "So don't you talk to me about darkness, _Brother_ Fai, because there's none to match the evil that hides under the glitter and shine of the Templar's armor. I won't stay under the same roof as such men. I'd rather sleep in the gutter for the rest of my days than share their wine again."

"But, Kurogane," Fai tried to persuade him, tried to get him to see reason. "That corruption comes from men, not from God. We are born with sin, and we need to grace of God to uplift us from it. Even the best of men can be weak against temptation, can succumb to it. It's the duty of the church to guide them _away _from that, to teach them how to strive for honor and kindness and charity and not to give in to their worst instincts."

"So they say," Kurogane said bitingly. "And I used to believe it, too - until I saw my own commander turn his back on the atrocities those men committed, to pretend it never happened. Hell, he did all except put the papal seal on rape and murder!"

That was impossible, Fai thought incredulously. No servant of the Church could ever be so base, so callous, as to deliberately turn a blind eye to his own soldiers violating the Acts of War. But he knew Kurogane too well to think that he could lie - he could only be mistaken. "Then report him as well!" he exhorted. "If corruption has really set root in the Order of Templars at that level, then take it to the Archbishop himself!"

"And find out just how high up the corruption goes?" Kurogane shook his head. "This wasn't a freak occurrence, mage. I took it to the commandant as soon as I returned - I just got back from that meeting. He claimed there was nothing he could do to stop it - he all but came out and said this was _expected_ to happen, that they give the Knights free rein to run riot as soon as a new town as conquered, because it's the only way to keep them in line the rest of the time. And the Council doesn't give a damn about the dirty little details of what happens on the front lines of the Crusade as long as money and converts keep trickling in and we're making progress towards the Holy Land. No, staying to argue the case won't accomplish a damn thing!"

"And what do you think leaving the Order will accomplish?" Fai tried switching tactics. "If no one will even stand against it, it's no wonder the spirit of the Order has begun to rot!"

"If you're trying to convince me to stay, you're not doing a very good job of it," Kurogane growled.

"But leaving in a storm like this won't change anything; if you renounce your cross you'll never be able to come back, you know that!" Fai protested. "And the people out there are no less greedy and corrupt than the men in your unit, I can promise you that!"

"Do you think I don't know that?" Kurogane snarled back. "At least they're open about their vices, and don't wrap themselves up in cloaks of hypocrisy! Damn, the kind of logic-chopping they teach you at the College makes my head spin."

"You can't leave," Fai said desperately. He recognized Kurogane's elemental stubbornness coming into the fore; the harder someone tried to change his mind, the more he'd dig in his claws. But he couldn't help but try; he couldn't face the thought of the Kurogane-shaped hole this would leave in his life. "We need you!"

"Who's the 'we' in that sentence, Mage?" Kurogane said, turning his searing red eyes on Fai with unerring precision. "Do you mean 'we' the Knights Templar, or 'we' the Puritan Church? Or 'we' as in Fai Flowright?"

Fai swallowed against a sudden ringing in his ears, and said in a whisper, "All of them."

"I can't stay for the Knights, and I can't stay with the church," Kurogane said, taking a step across the stone floor. "But I don't _have_ to leave you behind."

For a moment Fai's heart rose on a surge of hope. If he -

"Come with me," Kurogane urged him, extending his hand towards Fai. "Let's leave together. You and I can make the world a better place somewhere else - somewhere that isn't locked up in the pretty lies of the Church. As partners. As more than that, if you want it. I know I do."

"I can't," Fai said, shaken to the very core by the suggestion. The Holy Church was everything to him. After the miseries of his childhood he'd finally found comfort here, found unconditional love and acceptance for the first time in his life. All his adulthood he'd spent with the church; first as a parishioner, then an initiate into the Order of Holy Sorcerers, and all the years of study he'd poured into becoming what he was now; a Revered Mage of the Order of Holy Sorcerers. He'd poured his heart and soul, devoted years of study and years of his life into that goal; he couldn't imagine himself anywhere, anyone else. Not even with Kurogane beside him. "You can't - you can't ask this of me, Kurogane. You can't ask me to choose between love in this world and in the next. That isn't fair."

"Then give me a reason to stay!" Kurogane urged him, frustration and temper clearly rising. "Don't think I've forgotten the time you kissed me in the chapel, Mage; or all the little looks and moments you've sent my way since them. If you want me as a lover, then I'm yours; but if you don't, I won't hang around forever in a place that makes my soul sick just looking at it, waiting for you to change your mind!"

"I can't!" Fai almost shouted his denial, his own frustration rising to match Kurogane's. He glared at the warrior in front of him, and he felt the same old struggle rise up in his chest again. Kurogane, glorious Kurogane, so beautiful and strong and poised. So passionate and fiery, yet such a virtuous soul under the temper and bite. He was the best man Fai had ever known, the only one he'd ever loved. But what Kurogane was asking for was beyond the pale. "You know what initiation into the Holy Order entails - I gave my vows of poverty, obedience and chastity, and I won't break those vows. Not even for you. I'd be stripped of my mantle, I might even be tried in ecclesiastical courts -"

"That one rabbit priest has been fooling around with Prince Touya for years," Kurogane said impatiently. "Everyone knows it, and he took the very same oaths, and yet the Holy Fathers don't seem to be in a hurry to excommunicate him!"

"That's different and you know it," Fai snarled back, his own patience running thin. "Yukito - that's a special case; Touya's the Crown Prince, for God's sake, and his parents love him. The Holy Fathers can't afford to alienate the country's rulers by interceding in their love affairs, vows or no vows. Besides, he's in a different position than I am; he's devoted to serving the royal family, not the College of Mages."

"Are you even listening to yourself, making excuses for them?" Kurogane said with heavy contempt. "You know as well as I do that the Church is rotten at its roots. You just won't admit it to yourself, because you don't have the courage to face up and do anything about it."

"Don't you dare call me a coward," Fai hissed. "Not when you're the one who's running away!"

"I'm calling you a coward because you are one," Kurogane grated. "You run away from the truth, you run away from what you really want, and you run away from me. To be afraid of pain and death is one thing - it's natural, it's understandable. But to be afraid of finding your true self - that's worse than cowardice, that's hypocrisy! That's the kind of person I hate most in the world."

"Well, then." Fai felt an unpleasant smile stretch his face, his heart gone cold and hollow as Kurogane's stinging words of condemnation gutted him. "I guess you've no reason to stay at all, then."

"No," Kurogane said. The cot had been cleared, all of his possessions magically disappearing into his bag, and he knotted it with a blurred expert one-handed twist and slung it over his shoulder. He stood up straight, hitching his sword into the loop by his belt, and looked Fai straight in the eye. "I don't."

Fai couldn't speak, the lump in his throat threatening to cut off both speech and breath, until Kurogane had walked past him to the door. "What about Syaoran," he blurted out, turning around to face Kurogane's back. "Your squire. He looks up to you, he needs your guidance. What will he do once you're gone?"

"If he's smart, he'll come to the same conclusions I did, and he'll leave too," Kurogane tossed over his shoulder. "If not, then some other knight can take over his training."

"None of them are as good as you," Fai countered. "Not just good fighters. Good men."

Kurogane did turn around then, and under the layer of smoldering rage that had dominated his attitude since Fai had burst into his chambers, there was an edge of real sorrow. "If you really believe that I'm the best man the Church has got," he said, "then you already know that what I told you is true."

He turned and walked out, and Fai stood frozen in place, staring at the empty tabard bearing the Holy Symbol lying crumpled and empty on the floor.

* * *

><p>"It is regrettable, to be sure," the old man said with a sigh, spreading his hand over the pages of the leatherbound book open on the desk before him. "He was a fine and righteous young man… a little prone to wrath on occasions, but such is necessary in a man of war. With the grace of God, he will come to his senses before he does something that the church cannot easily overlook."<p>

The clock ticked steadily away in the dusty quiet of the Bishop's office; it was a comforting sound, for Fai had spent many long hours here. The Reverend Joshua had seen to much of Fai's education, and been present at his initiation; just being in his presence was a soothing balm - usually. It had been a night and a day since Kurogane's departure, and so far nothing had been able to quell the ache inside him.

"Your Grace," Fai said hesitantly. "Surely we should investigate the truth of his accusations."

The older priest shook his head. "Allegations only, surely," he said. "And given his own shocking behavior in casting aside his mantle and departing the Church, he is hardly a reliable source to judge the morality of others."

"Kurogane has always been an upright and, more importantly, an _honest_ man, Your Grace," Fai said quietly. "I have known him for many years and I have not once known him to lie. He is a good man."

"So are all the men he is implicating," Joshua said, irritated. "And they, at least, are still _loyal_ and devout."

"So is he, despite his actions," Fai protested. "It's exactly _because _ of his devotion that he left - because he held the doctrines of God above those of the Church."

Joshua gave him a stern frown. "The doctrines of the Church _are_ those of God," he said quellingly.

"I know, I know. I wasn't suggesting that otherwise," Fai said, shaking his head so hastily that wisps of blond hair whipped into his face. "I'm merely saying that he is confused, Father. He would surely return if it was shown how much we value our own laws and edicts, by tracking down these rogue soldiers and seeing justice done."

The old man sighed and sat back in his wooden chair, creaking under his weight. He rubbed a hand over the wrinkled lines of his face, looking unusually tired. "What you're suggesting is not that simple," he complained. "The Holy Order of Sorcerers has only limited authority over the Knights Templar at the best of times - when it comes to matters of war, only the Holy Father or the Council of Archbishops can overrule them. Demanding that they start a martial investigation of half a dozen of their best soldiers, on the word of a single man who is not even present to present a witness… I don't know what you would hope to accomplish. It would strain relations between our branches, and could prove devastating to military morale. It could even discredit us in the eyes of the temporal Kings through whose lands our armies must pass."

"I know that," Fai said quietly. "But regardless of whether it's convenient, or easy, or politically agreeable, it still must be done. Because if our own soldiers cannot even obey the Pax Dei, then it casts a stain over _all _ the Orders, and doubt upon the mantle of authority of the Puritan Church. What would that do to the hearts of our followers, if such a corruption took root among us?"

A long silence stretched between them, the ticking of the clock suddenly seeming very loud, and Fai met the Bishop's eyes steadily. At last Joshua inhaled sharply through his nose, and let out a long sigh. "You are right, of course," he admitted. "I will see that an investigation is launched. God willing it will be dealt with swiftly and decisively."

"Thank you, Father," Fai said with relief, bowing his head and signing himself briefly. "That's all I ask."

Yet despite the Senior Mage's acquiescence, as Fai gathered himself up and left his office, he still felt unaccountably depressed. Kurogane's furious tirade still echoed in his ears, and he found himself wondering if the promised investigation would come to anything at all, or merely close out the cases as quickly as possible to avoid further embarrassment.

And worst of all, despite his hopeful suggestions to Joshua, Fai knew that even if the investigation went through, it still would not bring Kurogane back to him.

* * *

><p>When he was troubled it often comforted him to come down to this part of the monastery, to see the children at play. The foundling orphanage at Cattalina was one of the largest in the country, thanks to the generous donations of King Fujitaka and other nobles eager to impress with their piety. Only the grand cathedral of Anna-Metrushka itself - the jeweled heart of the capital city of Celestina - was larger. The orphanage building, along with the hospice and the rest of the Puritan outbuildings, took up a fair chunk of the city center; but there was never any lack of foundlings to fill it.<p>

He liked to talk with the children, to play with them and show them harmless little tricks of magic. It amused and delighted them, and if it lit the fire of inspiration within one or two of them to be a Holy Sorcerer someday, well, where was the harm in that? More than anything he drew strength from their faces, smiling, scrubbed clean and with a healthy glow.

They had all come from different backgrounds, he knew. Some were orphans in truth, their parents lost to war or disease or starvation that somehow passed over and left their children bewildered and alone in the cold world. Others were foundlings, deliberately cast aside by their parents for Heaven knew what reason - bastard children got out of wedlock, girl children whose parents wanted only a male heir; the sins of man were uncounted, and so were the children. Unwanted, unloved and forsaken.

They came from backgrounds rich and poor, common and noble, but he could still see a piece of himself in all of them. Not every child could be saved - he knew that lesson painfully well - but the church saved all that they could. Took them in and raised them, fed them and clothed them warmly, if not fashionably, and saw that each Church orphan at least knew how to read and write and do basic sums and recite the catechism and commandments, preparing them for life in the greater world.

That was a good, Fai thought. That was a good that no one could dispute, not even Kurogane. If the church did not save these poor waifs, then who would? How could Kurogane say that the faith was corrupted, the church rotten from within, so long as they gave succor to the poor and the orphaned - the humble people, who so often found themselves crushed under the careless wheels of war and politics? Who else would? Who else cared enough to try?

Who else had cared about him?

He came to the archway leading out to the courtyard and stopped; the cold autumn wind had died down for now, and the clouds parted enough to spill sunlight onto the stones below. The fountain in the middle of the courtyard's small garden had not yet frozen over; the quiet splash of water pouring eternally from the maiden's vessel gave an aura of peace to the place. In this place, sanctuary from the evils of the world. In this place, shelter from the cruelty of man. In this place, the peaceful hand of God could be felt, even if just for a moment.

Kurogane was mad to suggest that he leave. How could he ever leave Cattalina? How could he leave behind these buildings, these people he loved, the well of grace and tranquility that seemed to fall over the walls and walkways like a veil?

Fai closed his eyes and tipped his head back, letting the sunlight fall into his face and a warm golden glow fill his vision.

_Lord Father, please judge him mercifully_, he prayed. _He is angry now, but he is angry because he is a good man who cannot bear the evils of this world. Walk beside him in his dark valley as you did in mine, protect and shelter him as you did for me. And when the tempest within him has subsided, guide him safely home to us again._

The sound of feminine laughter broke into his reverie. He opened his eyes to see a trio of girls passing under the archway opposite, clad in white wool shifts, and he smiled as he recognized them. Rika and Chiharu, both rising fifteen and soon to be children no longer, and their constant companion, who could not be more than a year or so behind.

It was the tradition of the orphanage that those children old enough to remember the names their parents gave them would keep them; those who could not would be named for one of the venerated saints. He had been the one to suggest her namesake; Saint Katherine, patron of maidens, children, and libraries. Kitty, as he called her fondly, always had a special place in his heart; for he had been the one to find her abandoned and crying in the woods and bring her back to the monastery to be sheltered.

"Little Kitty," he called out, and the trio of girls stopped and turned towards his voice. Chiharu and Rika immediately fell to whispering among themselves, tugging at Little Kitty's sleeve and staring at him with wide eyes; Fai couldn't help but smile. "How are you today? Do you have time to sit and talk for a bit?"

"Oh! Um…" Litty Kitty looked at her companions; Rika gave a little smile and wave, and Chiharu a cheerful grin. "Go on, we'll catch up to you later," the older girl said confidently. "And remember, tell us _everything!"_

Fai raised an eyebrow as Little Kitty crossed the courtyard and sat down on the low stone wall beside him. "Tell them everything about _what, _pray tell?" he asked her.

Little Kitty blushed, and Fai chuckled; it was so easy to get a blush out of her, it was hardly any challenge to tease her. "Oh, well, they're just curious," the girl stuttered. "You know, since they're preparing for their initiation into the Sisterhood, they want to know all about it - about the ceremony, I mean. They wanted me to ask you the details of, of what everyone's going to say or do, so that they're ready."

Fai studied the girl for a moment. Although he still thought of her as the babe he'd rescued from the frozen woods, she was hardly a child any longer; she was growing taller, her bones and frame changing from a child's towards that of a woman, and her face was beginning to lose the layer of baby fat in favor of a more adult maturity. The eyes were the same green, though; and the wisps of hair that peaked from around her white cowl to frame her face were the same ginger color. "Have you thought about what you're going to do, yourself?" he asked. "You have less than a year of fostering left, and then you'll be able to choose your own path."

"Well," Little Kitty said, and she gave him a sunny smile. "I thought I'd study magic, like you!"

Fai coughed, feeling almost embarrassed at having to ruin her hopes. "Come on now, you know that's not possible," he said gently. "The Holy Sorcerers are not open to women."

"I know that!" the girl shot back. "But there's an equivalent order in the Sisterhood, isn't there? I know some of the nuns study potions and protective amulets."

"That's different, Little Kitty," he objected. "The Sisters of Mercy practice defensive magics and healing; it's a very specialized field of study. They are sometimes called on to accompany the Templars onto the field of battle; their abilities have saved many a good man's life and limbs." His smile faltered as his thoughts turned to their inevitable conclusion - if one of the Sisters had been at Rauma, they might have been able to save Kurogane's arm. As it was, it must have taken nothing short of divine intervention for him to survive the dreadful wound at all.

Any reminder of Kurogane hurt, like a wound had been ripped open inside his chest, and he suspected it would for some time to come. He quickly changed the subject. "There are plenty of other paths to pursue, Kitty. You don't have to devote yourself to one just because it's what I do. What does your heart tell you?"

"Um," Little Kitty fidgeted on the bench, her fingers twisting in the hem of her white woolen dress. "Honestly, I don't know. Nothing really… I mean, it's not that I don't respect the Sisters and all - I just can't really see myself in any of their shoes."

"Hmm." Fai let his eyes rest on her for a moment, and his voice grew serious. "Little Kitty, you know, you don't have to be initiated into the Sisterhood if you're not ready. Not all of the foundlings stay here forever - many of them leave and lead very happy, successful lives in the rest of the community. You could leave, too." _Even if it would break my heart even more,_ he thought, _it wouldn't be right to cage you if you didn't want to stay._

"But what would I do, if I left?" the girl stammered. "I mean - I don't really know what else is out there!"

"You could find a husband," Fai suggested. "You're becoming a lovely young woman, Katherine - it's only natural for you to have a young maiden's dreams and desires. Many of the nuns and monks take vows of chastity for their work, but that's not required for everyone. A full life outside the church, where you fall in love, marry, and raise a family in the sight and love of God is every bit as much an act of loving devotion as any monastic life of study."

_But not for me_, he thought with the familiar old ache in his heart. Even if he renounced his mantle and his vows, even if he left the church, he could never have the same kind of fruitful relationship with a good and godly woman, could never bring new children into the world. He'd long since stopped feeling shame for his own altered desires - he had come to believe that God intended him to pursue the life of a Holy Sorcerer with no regrets - but the loving family life that he described to Little Kitty had never been an option for him.

Little Kitty had turned a bright red - much more so than the gentle teasing had warranted - and Fai became curious as to what was driving it. "Doesn't that sound lovely?" he prompted her. "Wouldn't you want a fine young man of your own for a husband, someone to share your life with?"

"N-no, it's not that, I do want - I -" the girl stuttered, and Fai's interest peaked.

"Or is it that you already have such a fine young man in mind?" Fai said knowingly. He wasn't blind to the little pageants that spun themselves out among the younger members of the convent, after all. "Such as that handsome young squire, Syaoran, perhaps?"

The girl's blush redoubled, and so did her case of the fidgets, until she was squirming like a bean in a hot pan. "B-but he's training to be a knight!" she said anxiously. "He always, he always said he means to be one of the Knights one day, like his mentor, Kurogane-sama! I don't want to leave the church if he -" She stopped, biting her lip.

"I see," Fai said, and his heart went out in sympathy to the young couple. He happened to know, from the long idle conversations he shared - _used to share - _with Kurogane, that Syaoran was just as head over heels in devotion to the pretty Little Kitty as she felt for him. If they stayed in the Church and took their own vows, then they would never be able to be together; but neither would leave while the other one stayed.

Reluctantly, he said, "You know, Kitty, it's possible that Syaoran may not be completing his training after all. You should talk to him about this - about the possibility of leaving together."

_Why now, all at once?_ he wondered. It was all too ridiculously sudden to be a coincidence, but what plan could God possibly have for taking all of Fai's loved ones away from him?

"Not complete his training?" Little Kitty appeared shocked, and Fai blinked back into focus as he realized she had latched on to the one part of his announcement that he'd hoped she wouldn't. "What, why wouldn't he? It's what he really wanted! All the squires wish they were serving under Kurogane-sama, but Syaoran really wants to make him proud!"

Just like that, the stabbing ache in his chest was back. "I guess you hadn't heard yet." He took a deep breath. It wasn't like it was a secret; everyone who lived in the convent would know by the time the day was out. "Kurogane… left the order for a while. He has some things he needs to work out. But in the meantime, someone else would have to take over Syaoran's training, and most of the other Templars are busy with their own -"

"But why would he leave?" Little Kitty was even more shocked than before, almost on the verge of tears. "I don't understand! Why would he do such a thing?"

"Because…" Fai hesitated. Kurogane's accusations rang back in his head - that Fai was making excuses to cover up the evil actions of the corrupt churchmembers, that he refused to admit the truth. He didn't want to lie, or deny that such terrible things had ever happened - but how could he burden this sweet young girl with such horrors? "Because he -"

He never got to finish that sentence.

Little Kitty jerked suddenly, a gasp leaving her throat. Then her eyelids fluttered as her head rolled back, and she slumped as though boneless on the stone bench. Fai hastily reached out to support her, but his hand bounced off thin air as though it had encountered a padded barrier.

The sound of a roaring whirlwind filled the courtyard, although the air was as still and calm as it was before, and Fai's eyes widened as he recognized the unmistakable presence of magic - an attack of some kind, a hostile magic he had never sensed before! The girl's slender body jerked up, rigidly as a board, and she began to float into the air as an eerie glow slowly spread over her skin.

Fai came to his feet, casting a counterspell almost without thinking. He had no idea who could be doing this, or _what _kind of witchcraft could reach into the heart of this sacred space, but it was evident that someone _had. _Blue and white lines of symbols scrolled from his fingertips as he chanted the words in Latin, and a bright-glowing sphere swirled up and sealed into place around the afflicted girl.

Once the barrier was up, sealing Little Kitty away from the outside world and whatever force was seeking to harm her, Fai turned to kill the magics already at work. He shifted from a protective spell to a counterspell, furiously working to nullify any magics within the field of his own magic. It was complicated and difficult, keeping two spells going at once while wrestling with the effects of a third, but this was the kind of magic at which he had always excelled. It was almost an exhilaration, matching his mind against his enemy's mind, smothering the bursts of power like sand over a fire and tearing apart the framework that had carried the spell in the first place. When at last the final trace of hostile magic vanished, Fai nearly shouted with triumph.

But when his shield vanished, Little Kitty slumped back down against the stone bench in the total listlessness of unconsciousness. Her eyes were closed, and with the eldritch light gone, her skin had gone a frightening gray color.

Fai caught her limp body before it hit the ground, but despite his repeated, frightened calls of her name, she did not answer.

* * *

><p>~to be continued...<p> 


	2. The Wizard's Exile

**Title**: Pure Heart, White Mage  
><strong>Rating<strong>: PG-13  
><strong>Warnings: <strong>Angst, religious themes  
><strong>Spoilers<strong>: None; AU from canon.

**Summary**: Kidnapping, curses, and assassination - and at the middle of it all is the Puritan Church. In the midst of a political and magical upheaval, Fai must face the choice between preserving his faith - and protecting those he loves.

**Author's Note:_ Please read this note or you may be very confused._**

This fic was written for the remix challenge held on the kuroxfai community on Livejournal in October 2011. That means that it was intentionally and deliberately modeled on another author's fic, to the extent that some sections of the text are nearly word-for-word with the original. **This was done with the author's knowledge and permission.** Please do not accuse me of plagiarism or unoriginality if parts of this fic seem uncannily familiar to you.

The fic being remixed is _Black Cat, White Mage_ by sweetjerry.

* * *

><p>"Come in, Fai."<p>

The heavy wooden door banged shut behind him, plunging him from the bright daylight outside to a semi-darkness lit with ranks of candles. It took Fai's eyes a moment to adjust, and when he did he stopped dead.

Ranged around the conference tables was every single senior priest or administrator of the Cattalina monasterial complex. The Senior Mage of the College of Sorcerers; the High Cleric of the Sisters of Mercy; the Bishop of the Great Library, and half a dozen more. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of the ceremonial chainmail and red-embroidered tabard of the Knights Templar, although the stout grey-haired man who wore it bore no other resemblance to Kurogane.

But all of these august figures sat deferentially aside from a collection of white-haired men whom Fai had never met before. Even if he did not know their faces, however, there was no way he could fail to recognize the bright colors of their robes or the glittering decorations worked into their vestments and collars. Half a dozen Bishops, and even the high-peaked hat of an Archbishop - who reported only to the Holy Father - were gathered in the chapterhouse, and Fai felt himself torn between holy awe and wholly irrational panic. _My God, what have I done? _he thought, before he managed to get hold of himself.

"Welcome, brother," Father Joshua greeted him kindly, and Fai gratefully latched on to his familiar presence. "In the Lord's name, be at ease in this place. The Bishop and I - as well as these others - are gathered to discuss the events of yesterday afternoon, the breach of our security by hostile magics and the attack on one of our young acolytes. How is the poor girl?"

"Resting, Your Grace," Fai responded. "She woke up for the first time earlier today, but she seems very confused and has no memory of what happened to her."

His steady, almost tranquil tone did nothing to suggest the miserable, sleepless few days he'd spent waiting for her to awaken. He was no physician - the Order of Holy Sorcerers didn't specialize in that kind of magic, and Fai had less talent than most - but at least he could be by her bedside, holding her hand as the nurses worked. Waiting for her to awaken from that frightening, too-still sleep which robbed her skin of its normal cheerful color.

"That is good to hear," Joshua said with a nod. "Such a terrible attack to befall such a young, fragile spirit; thankfully the Lord has been looking out for her and guarded her spirit during this ordeal. What do the Sisters say about her recovery?"

"They think that she'll recover without any permanent effects, although they haven't seen very many attacks like these before." Fai said. Although he didn't ask the question outright, there was a subtly inquiring tone in his voice as he glanced around the council chamber. It was quite rare to see so many church elders at a time, save for the regularly scheduled conclaves in Celestina; it was almost unheard of to have so much high Church authority focused on the welfare of one young girl.

"That is part of the reason why we called you here today," said the white-haired man sitting to the left of Father Joshua, at the head of the table. Fai had never met him in person before, but from his robes and his collar Fai realized he must be the Archbishop of Clow. He normally stayed in the grand cathedral at Anna-Metrushka, near the royal palace and the seat of government; he must have travelled very hastily, or already been on his way, in order to make it to Cattalina for this meeting. Why?

"Fai Flowright, you are highly acknowledged as one of the most gifted young Holy Sorcerers sponsored to the Order in recent years," Father Joshua addressed him; his tone was matter-of-fact, not praise or flattery. "In addition, you had the eyewitness view of the attack as it actually happened. What can you tell us about the curse or spell that assaulted this girl?"

"Your Grace…" Fai said slowly. "It all happened very fast, it's true - it was hard to be certain of anything. But I could have sworn…" He hesitated, falling silent.

"Go on," one of the senior bishops urged him. "Say what you are thinking."

Fai took a deep breath and lifted his head, his level gaze meeting that of his superiors. "The magical signature was very similar to that which our own College uses, Your Grace," he said quietly. "I am almost certain that the attack on Little Kitty originated from a sorcerer of our own Order."

Somewhat to his surprise, the priests sitting around the table did not react in outrage or consternation. Instead they exchanged glances, and the Archbishop nodded at the Senior Mage. He turned back to Fai. "Your certainty is almost correct, my son," he said gravely. "It was indeed launched by one who was - once - a member of our Order, and no mere initiate. We have reason to believe that the perpetrator was none other than Fei Wong Reed."

Fai gasped, his eyes widening as the meaning sunk in.

Everyone in the Holy Kingdom knew of the Apostate, the devil incarnate who had broken from the Church to found his own, treasonous order of heresy and deceit. Many people even knew his name, Fei Wong Reed, none other than a descendant of Clow Reed himself. But only a handful people of knew - and most of them were here in this room - that before his defection, Fei Wong Reed had been a Grand High Wizard of the Holy Order of Sorcerers.

He had taken almost all of the Church's deepest and most dangerous secrets when he left, and he had years since then to continue experimenting in the blackest and most perverted branches of the Art which were forbidden by Church law. If Fei Wong Reed were behind the attack, that certainly explained its suddenness, its viciousness, even the unbelievable distance at which it had been cast. But that still left the question…

"But - why?" Fai said hoarsely. "Why attack _her? _She's just a child, for God's sake - she's hardly been outside the monastery walls in her life! Why in Heaven's name would he pick her as a target? What could he possibly hope to accomplish?"

There was another one of those long, heavy moments in the chamber - the silence of men who all knew what each other were thinking, but did not want to be the first to speak.

At last the weight of expectation seemed to fall on the senior archbishop, who cleared his throat under the Senior Mage's angry glare. "Fai, what we are about to tell you is one of the deepest secrets of the Holy Throne," he began in a severe tone. "Not a word of it is to be spoken outside this chamber, on peril of your soul. Do you understand?"

"Yes, of course," Fai agreed, faintly stunned.

"From the day you brought the girl back to the monastery, our senior priests suspected there was more to her than there seemed," the Archbishop began. "It took months of secret investigation, but what we concluded was beyond a doubt: She is none other than the missing Princess Sakura."

_"What?" _ Fai exclaimed, completely lost in shock. None of the heavy portents of this meeting so far had prepared him for this. "But - that's impossible!"

"Incredible, to be sure," the Archbishop agreed solemnly. "Nevertheless, we determined it was the truth. As for how that came to be, I'm sure the Senior Mage can explain."

Father Joshua shot him a glare at having been so blatantly tossed the hot coal, but cleared his throat. "The guards at the palace at Clow always swore that there was no possible way any kidnapper could have gotten into and out of the royal nursery, carrying the Princess, without being seen," he said. "The best supposition was that magic had been used to spirit her away, and so it seemed at the time. What actually happened, however, we believe to be more complicated.

"We have monitored her closely all her life, and we strongly suspect that Katherine - or rather, Princess Sakura - has a great deal of inherent magical talent. Such gifts are valuable, but they can also be unpredictable, especially in moments of great stress - as you would have reason to know."

"Yes," Fai whispered. "I know."

"When the young Princess found herself being kidnapped - frightened, no doubt, at being so abruptly pulled away from her familiar nursery - we believe that she instinctively defended herself with magic," the priest continued. "The uncontrolled, unexpected burst of power destroyed the transport spell which abducted her - and dropped her in the middle of nowhere, alone and frightened, where God's hand would guide you to her to bring to us."

Fai's stunned mind was finally starting to catch up with the implications of this unbelievable announcement. "So you've known?" he demanded incredulously. "You've known for _twelve years_ that she was the missing Princess, and you kept it a secret all this time?"

"The Apostate was obviously targeting her," the bishop said. "She was still in danger. For her own protection we had to keep her here, under the watchful eye of our most keen and powerful mages. You proved the importance of that when you protected her from the assault two nights ago."

"She didn't even know who she _was!" _ Fai said, anger bubbling up inside him on poor Little Kitty's behalf. The church orphanage was a safe and loving home, but every child who was raised there grew up with the empty lack inside them - knowing that a part of them would always be lost in mystery, knowing that there should have been parents and family beside them and never would be. "Do the King and Queen know? That she was found and sheltered here?"

Another uncomfortable silence. This time, Fai didn't wait for them to work up the nerve to break it. "You hid the truth of the Princess' survival from _her own family?" _A distant part of him was surprised by his own fury, by how clearly he was letting it show even in these august presences. He had always tried to be there for Little Kitty, to fill the role of older brother and godfather, but he always knew that he could never replace her parents in her heart. To think for twelve years her parents still lived, still wept for her loss, still yearned to see her and _his own church had kept her from them -_

"It was no accident that you should be the one to find her, to bring her to us," the senior priest said with just an edge of defensiveness in his tone. "It was ordained. God delivered her into our hands; we were only following his plans."

"When was it ever part of God's plan to make orphans of children, to deprive them of security and love?" Fai demanded.

"We never stinted her," said one of the other priests - Father Miguel, who was in charge of administering the orphanage and hospice. "We saw to it that all her needs were fulfilled, as with any other girls and boys in our care!"

"Children need more than food and shelter," Fai began furiously. "They need the love of their parents, their siblings, the certainty of belonging where they are loved and wanted -"

"She is beloved by God!" the senior priest retorted angrily.

_"So are we all!"_

In the brief silence that followed his shout, Fai reined his anger back to a more controlled level. "So are we all," he repeated in a more normal tone. "All the children of God are beloved by Him, but did not He direct that we should love each other, as well? He has never asked that we should forsake love here on earth, as a requirement to earn His love in heaven…"

Fai trailed off, caught off-balance by his own thoughts. Truly? During his argument with Kurogane on the day he had left, hadn't he said so in as many words? _Don't ask me to choose between love in this life and the next. _But why should he have been forced to choose? The scripture encouraged men and women, parents and children and brothers to love each other. Why had he been forced to choose?

Or was Fai the one who had made the choice himself?

"Nothing can be accomplished by casting recrimination and blame at this late date," the Archbishop said in a stern voice, taking back the attention of the audience after Fai's outburst. "The fact remains that although for twelve years the Princess Sakura was hidden from the Apostate's sight, it is clear that she is hidden no longer. He stretches out his dark hand from beyond the borders of Nihon to claim her, and although his first attack has been turned aside, no doubt others will follow."

Fai nodded. The anger in him was dying down, robbed of its fuel, but it left cold fear in its wake for his Little Kitty. "What will he do to her?" he asked anxiously.

"None of us can be sure of his methods," Father Joshua answered, "but we can guess at his motives. An anonymous orphan girl would be of no interest to him, but the Princess of Clow is another matter. No doubt he seeks to take her into captivity, to control or persuade her to his twisted ends. If he could accomplish such a thing, he would have an invaluable foothold into Clow, as he has established years past in Nihon."

When Fei Wong Reed had left the Puritan church, he had taken not only the knowledge and power of the Holy Order of Sorcerers, but also a large number of followers. Together with the recruits he managed to gather from the outside, they formed the core of his new Church - the Liberated Church, set up in opposition to the Puritan Church with himself as the dark Father. He had fled from Clow into Nihon, their neighboring country with whom relations had always been acrimonious at best.

Some parts of the scripture Fei Wong Reed had kept intact - he could hardly have done otherwise if he wished his sect to have any recognition in civilized lands. He still allowed for the existence of the almighty God and his heaven, the prophets and apostles, the fallen archangel and the terrors of Hell. He still acknowledged the fall of Man and the Original Sin into which men were born. But that was where Fei Wong Reed's church twisted into a terrible heresy, for Fei Wong Reed rejected the doctrines of forgiveness.

According to the Puritan church, sin was inherent in man - evil, along with good, was born into their nature. Only God and His angels were perfect; no man, no matter how good or pious, could hope to live a completely sinless life in this imperfect world. But God was merciful, and sins could be forgiven; if a man repented his wrongs and accepted the love of God, then he could still ascend into heaven.

Fei Wong Reed had seized upon one word in the scriptures - _hitsuzen_, usually translated as 'inevitable' - as in the inevitability that mortal men would make mistakes and commit sins. But Fei Wong Reed translated that word as 'predestination,' and upon that word built an argument that men were born with their fates already decided. Those who were born into sin were destined to live an evil life, and no amount of forgiveness could save them; they were doomed to the torments of Hell. Only a select few, decided not by the free will of man but by some inviolable design, were born into righteousness; only those few would ever gain admittance to heaven.

No amount of earthy forgiveness, Fei Wong Reed had written, could change the destiny to which a man was bound. A man's destiny, for good or ill, could be _discerned_ by his natural urges towards piety or sinfulness, but could not be altered. For that reason, men should cast off the shackles of outdated morality, and each act freely according to his nature.

It all sounded very good on paper, Fai thought bitterly. And the fresh new perspective on theology and morality appealed to the inevitable class of young, educated scholars who were always questioning hidebound outdated traditions. But the _effect_ of this new moral system - at least in Nihon - had been chaos. As the new religion had spread like wildfire through the country's ruling class, a shockwave of abuses and excesses followed in its wake.

According to the Libertarians, the blessed few could be recognized by their fair appearance and righteous nature, while the sinful masses would remain in wretched ugliness - that was the theory, at least. Yet somehow when the Libertarian Church became fashionable in Nihon, it was always the wealthy, powerful aristocrats who were recognized as righteous, and the mashes of unwashed peasantry who were consigned to the depths of Hell.

The new Libertarian aristocrats - with the subtle encouragement of their new Holy Father, who knew the best way to win converts was to offer people what they already wanted - ran wild in their indulgences. Old-fashioned virtues of mercy and charity towards the poor were thrown out with the washwater - after all, if their evil nature already condemned them to an eternity of torment, then why bother trying to better their lot here on Earth?

King Ashura of Nihon had reasons of his own for breaking with the Puritan church; he had wished to divorce his wife and take a younger, fresher woman to bed, that he might beget a male heir. But he already had a daughter, and the Queen did not consent to the annulment - and according to long-standing tradition, no man could forsake his wife against her will, for his own convenience or pleasure. The church had refused to grant King Ashura's divorce, and it had become a long-standing source of bitterness between Nihon and the Puritan Church.

Fei Wong Reed, on the other hand, had felt no compunction at all about granting such a minor favor to the monarch who had harbored him and his breakaway sect. An agreeable marriage of interests - Ashura was granted his remarriage (actually, he was on his fifth wife to date, and no sons yet) and Fei Wong Reed was granted a whole kingdom of converts.

As Libertarianism became the royally sanctioned religion of Nihon, the King was finally free to move against the entrenched privilege of the Puritan Church that had opposed him for so long. As the Holy Fathers of Clow watched in horror, church lands were seized by the crown and redistributed among the king's allies, treasures were plundered and crypts were sacked. Clergymen were harassed and tormented, some even killed outright; most of those who could flee to safety did so, but some refused to abandon their flocks until the bitter end. United with his new Archbishop, Ashura sought religious accord within his borders at the point of a sword. Whole villages burned as the Church loyalists and the Libertarians fought it out, and only his brutal ruthlessness had allowed him to subdue the population short of open war.

All this had passed twenty years ago, and yet even worse loomed on the horizon. King Ashura, whatever his other sins, was a powerful and charismatic leader; with him on the throne, a tenuous unity held Nihon together. Yet the land was unrestful under a surface veneer of peace. He was getting old, and signs of illness and dissipation began to show. And yet even as the end of his life drew nearer, he refused to name either of his daughters as his heir, clinging till the end to the distant hope of bearing a male heir of his own blood.

As far as the Puritan Church was concerned, _either _ of Ashura's daughters would have been suitable monarchs to follow him onto the throne of Nihon. His eldest daughter Kendappa was a bit bloody-minded, but at least she was a pious Puritan. Tomoyo, the daughter of his second wife, was a Libertarian out of necessity - only under the Libertarian doctrines was her mother's marriage and thus her own legitimacy recognized. Still, all reports that had come to Clow of her said that she was a good and gentle woman, and that she was inclined to allow both Libertarians and Puritans to live in peace under her rule.

But none of that would matter if Ashura refused to name an heir. By the strict patriarchal traditions of Nihon, if Ashura died without a named heir then the kingship would default to one of his many distant cousins. Rumor had it that such an outcome was exactly what Fei Wong Reed desired; a new puppet king even more under his thrall than strong-willed Ashura ever was. But no one could be sure just which of several competitors would win their way to the top of the heap. Without a clear line of succession, a bloody civil war was inevitable.

The last thing anyone - especially, above all, the Church Fathers - wanted to see in Clow was a repeat of what had happened to Nihon. As a mere younger princess, Sakura could not have effected such a drastic change on her country even if she tried, but the Church elders had no intention of giving Fei Wong Reed even the smallest foothold into the royal family. With such high stakes in the balance, Fai could almost understand how the Church Fathers were willing to throw their scruples into the dust in order to protect Puritan domination in Clow.

But the cost…

"You must take Princess Sakura into hiding," the Senior Mage instructed him. "She is no longer safe here. We had hoped that this day would be long delayed - at least until after the Princess had been sworn into our own orders - but is not to be. Take her far away, and remain vigilant; at any time you may be called upon to defend her from more sorcerous attacks, or even plain mortal hazards such as kidnappers or marauders."

"I will do everything in my power to protect her, Your Excellencies," Fai vowed fervently. "But - I am only one man. I'm not certain I can do it alone."

"For the sake of stealth and secrecy, you must," Father Joshua said. "The hand of the Church will be behind you. We will draw you a purse from the church coffers, as well as whatever other gear or resources you require. We do not ask you to have to skin rabbits in the wilderness to survive." He smiled in wry humor.

"But - I can't accept those," Fai said in some confusion. "My oath of poverty - money and possessions are forbidden to me."

There was a long, fraught moment, and then the archbishop cleared his throat.

"Brother Fai, these are extreme circumstances, and the Church understands that," he said. "Measures will be taken to accommodate your change in situation. Before you leave this chamber, Father Omin will relieve you of your oaths."

"Wh-what?" Fai stammered. For a paralyzed moment, he wanted to scream in protest; for so long he had obeyed his oaths, sacrificed for them, that they had become a part of him. To have them taken away so suddenly - it was like they had never mattered at all, like all the things he had given up were worth _nothing_. Terror followed the outrage. "Father, you're not casting me from the Order, are you? I -"

"No, no, my son," Father Joshua reassured him quickly. "You will always be recognized within the church as a Revered Mage… however, you will need to travel incognito. For the sake of appearances - or even self-defense - you may be called on to do many things that your oaths would forbid. So that you need not feel tormented by the demands of Father Church, we will relax them."

He couldn't stop himself. "Even the oath of chastity?"

That prompted a few raised eyebrows, and Fai couldn't help but flush. Father Miguel put in, a bit condescendingly, "Of course. It would be unseemly for a young maiden of Katherine's age to travel with only a single man for a guardian. For the sake of appearances - and for our dear daughter's own spiritual welfare - you will probably need to take a wife as quickly as possible."

Fai opened his mouth to argue, but then left it open as the words failed to come. Surely they knew about his condition - they must have heard the scandalous rumors about himself and Kurogane, after all. He'd never thought he'd be glad of those painful rumors, yet the Church elders seemed unmoved. He shot a beseeching look at Father Joshua - he, at least, had heard all of Fai's unhappy thoughts and secrets during confessional - but the older man made no move to speak.

He'd missed his moment - the archbishop was taking command again. "These are all details to be worked out at a later date," he said firmly, dismissing the argument as unimportant. "Right now, we must be concerned with speed. This is not a council of discussion and consensus; there is must we much accomplish, and very little time."

The Archbishop called for an accord among the elders - unsurprisingly, there was a chorus of unanimous _Yeas. _ The chamber full of men and robes seemed to whirl around Fai, and he found himself outside less than an hour later without any clear idea of how he'd come to be there.

So fast. Twenty years and more he'd lived here, studied here, worshipped here; and in less than a day, everything was turned upside down. The heavy ironbound door closed behind him, with a resounding crash like the closing of a tomb.

* * *

><p>Kurogane ducked his head as he passed under the lintel into the inn's common room, dark hair slicked back into spikes and still dripping water onto his neck. Years of military discipline still shaped his daily routine; he still woke at dawn, attended to all his chores and washed himself in cold water before the sun had cleared the horizon. Even if, as now and the past bloody week, the rest of the day stretched out empty before him.<p>

He was getting restless, and mighty bored of this town. It could hardly be called a _town, _ except for the double handful of buildings and the solitary inn - the only two-story building for miles around - that had sprung up around the two roads that crossed here. The town itself was named for the signal fire kept always burning at the crossroads - Something Flammen - but Kurogane could hardly be bothered to remember it.

Truth be told, he'd only stayed here for more than a single night because the slight increase in traffic meant he had a greater chance of finding work here than elsewhere. Since leaving the temple house at Cattalina, he'd traveled gradually east towards the Clow-Nihon border. To save coin, he'd camped out most nights in the wilderness, catching and cooking his own food in the best soldiering fashion. He often missed Syaoran's presence around his little campfire; many of these tasks he hadn't performed since his own squire days, and they were harder to carry out with only one hand.

But he could hardly afford the cost of an inn every night. Truth be told, Kurogane had expected to find work before now. He knew he had valuable skills - more so than ever in these disturbed, war-torn days; any soldier of the Church was a fighter worth reckoning with, and however he'd scoffed at that magician, he knew he was one of the best. And he wasn't greedy, wasn't asking for a fortune; only enough to feed himself and pay his own way. Anyone who needed the skill of a fighting man - as an armsman, as a mercenary, hell even as a bodyguard or caravan guard - would be getting a hell of a bargain in him.

Yet despite this - and despite him putting up his sign on a post in every village he'd passed through - he'd yet to receive any offers. The rumors of his furious departure from the Church preceded him; perhaps people were scared off by the air of ecclesiastic displeasure surrounding him. Or perhaps they looked at him and saw only his missing arm, and assumed he would be no good in a fight. _Idiots, _ he thought. Their loss.

Still, the continuing lack of employment was going to pose a problem for him pretty soon. Not only would he eventually run out of money - he'd taken his own share of pay with him when he left, but it wouldn't last forever - but local authorities tended to look with disfavor on idle mercenaries hanging about in their towns, looking for trouble. Sooner or later he'd have to move on, work or no work - and yet if he had to keep moving on every few days, how could he possibly find the employment they wished him to have? It was a frustrating dilemma.

Despite the hassles, though, he didn't regret leaving the Church behind - not for a minute. Kurogane had never been one to agonize over his actions; he'd made his decision and that was that, bridges burned behind him. He would find his way in this world without the help of God or any priest, he was determined of that.

As he walked into the common room, hunching his neck a bit automatically as his head brushed against the lowest-hanging beams, the innkeeper called out to him. "Hey, soldier!" the burly man said; Kurogane grunted but did not take offense. There were worse appellations. "You got a visitor - someone came looking after your offer of work."

"About time," Kurogane grumbled, even as his heart rose in his chest. "Where?"

"She's in the back," the man answered, and Kurogane's eyebrows rose despite himself at the feminine pronoun.

Now curious, Kurogane hitched his sword against his side and made his way towards the narrow back room the innkeeper had indicated. As soon as he stepped through the door, he was aware of the presence of two armed bodyguards; his hand dropped to the hilt of his sword as he sized them up warily.

Only after he had determined they were no threat to him did he turn his attention to the woman seated at the small, unpolished wooden table. Dark eyes regarded him coolly from a smooth white face, and black hair tumbled in carefully arranged curls away from her neck and cascaded down her back. Her clothes, although modest in cut and color, were of fine cloth - this was a lady, without question.

He bowed; he was not completely without manners, after all. "I am Kurogane of Suwa," he said, giving his oldest affiliation first; "apprenticed as a squire to the Amamiya family at Drottensburg Keep, lately a knight of the Templars in the Holy Order of the Cross. As of now I serve no order and no master. You got work for me?"

"I believe we can come to an arrangement," the woman said in a cool, smooth voice. One dark, gloved hand opened towards the chair across the table from her. "Please sit, sir knight."

He sat; the chair creaked as it took his weight, and he remained aware of the two bodyguards flanking the door. The lady looked him up and down, disdain barely concealed in her expression. "Your notice claimed that you were an expert warrior?" Her voice was faintly incredulous, and her eyes lingered on his missing arm. "I must admit, that would not be my first thought on seeing you."

Kurogane sat back, eyes narrowing. "Lady, if you were an expert warrior yourself, you wouldn't have to doubt it," he said bluntly. "You would know by the way I walked and sat, by the way I handle my weapon and the pattern of scars on my skin. I could tell you about the campaigns I've fought and the titles I've won, but you'd just have to take my word for it if you don't already know my reputation. Or we could go outside and I could duel against your armsmen, and you could judge my skill that way - assuming you don't need him fit for anything tomorrow. But if you're going to base my fitness to fight based on what you _see_, then we might as well go our separate ways right now."

"Enough," the woman said hastily, waving her hand through the air. "I meant no insult. I simply require some proof of your skill before I know if you are the right man for the job. This is no mere guard job that I am offering; I can pay a sum of five hundred lira for its completion, and not just any thug would be worthy to earn it."

Silently, Kurogane reached inside his tunic and pulled out the Order of Valor that he had received for his defense of Rauma. The woman's eyebrows went up, and she looked impressed despite herself. "Of course, you could have stolen that," she said in a deliberately casual voice.

Kurogane snorted. "If I could steal a golden cross from a champion, then that would be proof itself of my prowess as a fighter."

One of the bodyguards snorted in laughter; the woman showed only a faint, chill smile. "Very well," she said. "I will accept, at least provisionally, that you are all that you claim to be."

She reached into her vest, and pulled out a black velvet drawstring bag. Pulling it open, she shook it onto the rude tabletop before her; Kurogane's interest sharpened at the glitter of coins that spilled onto the dark wood. "The question is only, can you do what is required?"

"That depends on what you need," Kurogane responded. "And for that matter, who I'm doing it for. You have my name, lady, but I don't have yours or your patron's."

"My patron is not part of this discussion at this time," the woman said in a flat, unemotional voice. "Discretion is part of the requirement for this job, and you will be well paid not to pry. As for myself, you may call me Xing Hua."

"All right, Xing Hua," Kurogane said. "If that's the way you want to play it, then I won't ask too many questions. So now that we've done enough dancing around the issue, what exactly is it that you want to hire a skilled warrior for?"

Xing Hua studied him for a moment across the table; taking in his battle-worn gear, the scars on his hand and arm and face. "I see a warrior such as yourself values bluntness," she said. "Very well, let us get straight to the matter. We would hire you to kill a man."

Kurogane sat back, a chill raising the hairs on the back of his neck. He was suddenly very aware of the two armed men at his back. He cursed himself for his naiveté in not seeing where this was going; but when he'd offered his services as a hired sword, he'd never imagined this. Bodyguard work, company fighting - but never assassination. And yet, he had to take the chances that were offered to him, and there were no lack of men in the world who deserved death. "Not impossible," he said cautiously. "What man?"

"I understand that you have abandoned the mantle of the Puritan Church," Xing Hua said after a moment. "That you reject the corruption and wickedness masquerading as holy righteousness, and now seek to make your own way in the world free of the banal spoutings of morality and sin. Is that so?"

Kurogane bit back an irritated impulse to repeat his question and demand a straight answer. He couldn't afford to piss off a potential employer, no matter how elusive she insisted on being. "Yeah, that's me," he said. "Why?"

"The influence of the Puritan Church is still pervasive in this land, their hand heavy, their eyes everywhere," Xing Hua said. "Yet now that you have left their ranks, you will find that there are others dedicated to destroying their filth and iniquity. It is such a specter of depravity that we seek to remove from the world, with you as our agent." Some of her cool reserve had passed off as she spoke; her eyes were alight with a dark flame, her face transformed with enthusiasm and a thirst for mayhem.

God, this was all beginning to stink of politics - worse, sectarian politics. "Why me?" he demanded. "You have two perfectly good men-at-arms of your own; why would you need a washed-up old soldier like myself?"

Xing Hua retreated behind an impassive mask, the brief glimpse of her inner self fading. "You are a former member of the Church," she said. "You are familiar with their routines and the layouts of their strongholds."

_And your people aren't? _Kurogane wondered silently. The layout of a Puritan cathedral tended not to vary much from one city to the next; anyone who was familiar with one was at least passingly familiar with them all. He studied his would-be patron with narrowed eyes.

She had black hair and eyes, but that didn't mean much; half of Clow did, including Kurogane himself. Nihon and Clow had been neighbors from time out of mind, and periods of war had left seeds of conquest while periods of peace had brought mingling and intermarriage. There was nothing incriminating or shameful to have a dash or more of Nihon in your family tree.

But the more she spoke, the more certain words, certain speech patterns were becoming clear to him. Few other people would have noticed, but Kurogane's family had immigrated to Clow from Nihon only a few generations back, and they still had kin on the other side of the border. There were certain mistakes that native speakers of Nihongo always made, and the more he talked here with the pretty and enigmatic Xing Hua, the more of that dialect he heard. And that put another light on all this fancy talk about filth and iniquity - the light of the Hellfire doctrines of the Libertarians.

"All right," he said. He thought of his fellow men-at-arms during the Crusades, thought of the smug and callous lieutenant who'd rebuffed his attempt to lay charges against them. "I won't deny that after the things I've seen, there are not a few Puritan bastards who deserve more than the point of my sword. Who did you have in mind?"

"Yukito Tsukishiro," Xing Hua replied.

There was a long moment of silence across the table, and then Kurogane broke into incredulous laughter. "Him?" he said. "That little rabbit-priest in Celestina? You must be joking; that little bugger couldn't harm a fly!"

"He lives in open sin with the highest powers of the worldly court, spreading his corruption from the royal family all throughout the country!" Xing Hua said coldly. "Yukito Tsukishiro, the filthy sodomite, embodies in himself all the worst essences of the decadent, corrupted Church! His sinful actions flagrantly prove his evil, twisted nature. He deserves no better than death, so that he may speedily be judged by the Maker and sent to his final torment!"

"You are out of your mind, lady," Kurogane growled. "I know that boy - I served with him, once, on tour of battle in the north. Skinny little kid with the glasses too big for his face and his robes falling off his body… such a miserable look on his face, like he saw all the problems of the world laid in front of him and just… blamed himself that he couldn't fix them all."

Kurogane shook his head, momentarily lost in a sea of memory. Yukito had looked so out of place on the battlefield - but none of the soldiers had looked askance at him once they saw his power at work. _Most powerful Healer I ever met - fool boy he was, he wanted to go to the front and help out. Just because he could. I was one of those assigned to his battalion, I got a pretty good look at him in action. He cried a lot, of course, when he saw all the shit no magic and no prayers in the world can fix. But he kept going. Kept asking 'What can I do? What can I do?' like a mantra. Even when he couldn't help, he could at least take away the pain. Over and over, man after man, endless rows on the floor of the healer's tent or the ditches where soldiers dragged themselves after they'd been cut to pieces - there was no end to them, but he never stopped. He just kept on going._

He snapped back to himself, and leaned forward over the table, his hand planted on the rough wood of the surface. He took some satisfaction at how Xing Hua shrank away before him. "If Yukito Tsukishiro has got a problem, it's that the world is too corrupt and dirty for him, not the other way around," he growled. "He's done no wrong and he's harmed no one, and I won't be party to any effort to bring harm to him."

"That's a terrible shame," Xing Hua said, regaining her composure - although Kurogane saw she still leaned back as far away from him as she possibly could. "Because now that you have been granted access to our council, we cannot let you leave this building alive."

A screeching moment of tension stretched between them, and then Kurogane broke it - surprisingly - with a laugh. "Damn, you're bold," he said, and then his voice dropped to a hair-raising growl. "Or are you that eager to die?"

He started to push himself to his feet. "Kill him!" Xing Hua cried out to her two warriors, and the tiny room exploded into motion.

Kurogane twisted as he rose, kicking the little wooden chair at his opponents. It slowed them down enough for him to gain a little space, settling firmly on his feet and drawing his sword in a fluid motion. He blocked the left guardsman's first clumsy slash, made over the obstructing furniture, with contemptuous ease. These two couldn't fight worth crap.

He didn't expect Xing Hua to join in the melee; but just in case, he upturned the heavy wooden table and shoved it back in a motion that would pin the woman against the far wall. Then he moved forward, with an almost cat-like pounce, to place himself between his two opponents. The bulk of his body would block their view of each other, preventing them from coordinating their attacks effectively; and now they were each pinned between him and the wall, while he could move freely.

The one on the right recovered first, finally kicking the wooden chair clear, and swung at him. He deflected the lighter, cheaper blade with a ringing clash of steel that sent the guardsman's arm flying wide; the edge of the sword bit into the wooden boards of the wall and stuck there. Kurogane sensed movement behind him and turned, bringing his sword around to catch his second opponent's blade right above the hilt of his sword.

Their crossguards locked and fouled, and sharp edges suddenly became meaningless as it became a contest of might against might. All the strength that Kurogane had trained into his remaining hand - all that he had needed to compensate for his lost arm - came to bear, and he shoved his enemy bruisingly back against the wall, forcing his blade aside. He pulled back, relaxing his hold a moment as he felt his other opponent stir, and he aimed a powerful kick back and to the side of him even as his right arm slid smoothly under the swordsman's guard to cut his torso from belly to armpit.

It was a mortal blow, and the man gasped and gurgled as he slid down the wall, sword twitching from his hand as his fingers lost strength. Kurogane whirled to face his remaining opponent, saw the naked terror in the man's eyes as he watched his comrade die. Kurogane grinned, fiercely exhilarated by the thrill of combat, and let the tip of his blade flick up in a salute before he charged forward.

The second guardsman was no better than his partner had been; it was all over in a matter of seconds. Kurogane forced his blade to the floor, then stamped on it hard enough that the paltry steel snapped in two. The man dropped the useless sword-hilt and scrabbled desperately at his tunic - no doubt for another weapon concealed there - but he hardly had time to reach for the hilt before Kurogane raised his own weapon to contemptuously slit his throat.

Warm blood had splashed over his arm and chest, and pooled sticky under Kurogane's boots as he turned back towards Xing Hua. She was still there - she could hardly have got past him to the door in all the confusion - and she cowered against the wall behind the inadequate cover of the table.

Kurogane extended his still-steaming blade, and the tip of the sword with careful precision came to rest at the hollow of Xing Hua's throat. She gasped for breath, eyes wide in her pale face as she stared at him in disbelieving horror. "How?" she panted. "You must be the devil himself!"

Kurogane narrowed his eyes as he considered the woman before him. She was either a traitor or, more likely, a Nihon spy; she'd tried to kill him, and conspired to kill others. For the sake of his country, he ought to kill her now - and yet -

He lifted the point of his sword away from her skin. "Pax Dei," he said. The Peace of God, which laid out the laws that defended the weak from the ravages of war. _Thou shalt not kill the helpless, nor those who have not taken up arms, nor those who cannot defend themselves_.

He lifted the black velvet pouch from where it had fallen on the floor, and tucked it into his belt before he turned on his heel and walked out. After all, the Pax said nothing about taking money away from spies and killers.

* * *

><p>~to be continued...<p> 


	3. The Princess' Secret

**Title**: Pure Heart, White Mage  
><strong>Rating<strong>: PG-13  
><strong>Warnings: <strong>Angst, religious themes  
><strong>Spoilers<strong>: None; AU from canon.

**Summary**: Kidnapping, curses, and assassination - and at the middle of it all is the Puritan Church. In the midst of a political and magical upheaval, Fai must face the choice between preserving his faith - and protecting those he loves.

**Author's Note:_ Please read this note or you may be very confused._**

This fic was written for the remix challenge held on the kuroxfai community on Livejournal in October 2011. That means that it was intentionally and deliberately modeled on another author's fic, to the extent that some sections of the text are nearly word-for-word with the original. **This was done with the author's knowledge and consent.** Please do not accuse me of plagiarism or unoriginality if parts of this fic seem uncannily familiar to you.

The fic being remixed is _Black Cat, White Mage_ by sweetjerry.

* * *

><p>When night fell it brought with it relief from the muggy heat of the sunny afternoon. As the sun went down and the air cooled, it turned damp, and Fai had decided to light a fire to cook with despite the mild temperatures. They had not reached town before nightfall, and so they had made camp in a clearing by the road; not exactly wilderness, it was a well-cleared meadow with a ring of stones in the center and a small shallow well off to one side. Stacks of firewood were leftover from travelers before them, although tonight there were no others camped within sight or hearing.<p>

They didn't have a horse. They could have; the letter of writ from the Archbishop's hand gave Fai the right to requisition anything he pleased from the Church's stores, and that included some fairly extensive stables. But after a conference spent with the Templar's quartermaster, he had decided against it. Horses were expensive and difficult to care for; he had neither the experience nor the money to spare to maintain one. Besides, there was nowhere they needed to go in a particular hurry; their protection lay in secrecy, not in speed. And if their enemy overtook them on the road, it would all be down to a battle of sorcery; not even the swiftest steed in Clow would help them then.

He did, however, take along a sturdy mule to carry their baggage; it was small and compact, but Fai judged that in dire need it would be able to carry the small weight of his companion. If she were to fall into another such uncanny faint on the road, he would not be able to carry her himself.

So far, however, Little Kitty seemed to be well; although still slightly dazed and confused by the attack that had laid her in a sleep near death for three days, she bounced along now with the boundless enthusiasm of youth. She had gone along with all the preparations for the trip obediently, packing her few possessions and changing into traveling gear that the Church provided - and she had cried only a little when Fai had bade her say goodbye to all her friends.

For the first day, the road itself had been enough to excite and distract the girl; she'd only been out of Cattalina a few times in her short life, on group trips with her peers to the nearby market fair. The late summer made a fair showing of the countryside, and the road was well populated by an ever-shifting group of fellow travelers. Young and lightly-burdened, they moved faster than the old pilgrims or peasants trudging under heavy loads, yet slower than the riders and wagon trains; and so all day long Little Kitty had been occupied by watching and conversing happily with the men and women they passed on the road.

By all accounts it was a pleasant journey so far, and Fai greatly enjoyed the company of the girl who was almost a daughter to him. He'd done his best to keep up their spirits by laughing and teasing with her, and for a time he was almost able to pretend that all was well - that he was his old cheerful self without a care in the world.

Yet Fai was beset by a lingering depression, no matter how busy he tried to make himself. It was not just leaving the church at Cattalina and the familiar life he'd built there, although that was part of it; he keenly felt the absence of the comforting walls around him, the stones layered with generations of sacred grace. Nor was it only missing the familiar faces and friends he'd known there, among the other mages of the College and children of the orphanage.

No, what troubled him most was the knowledge he'd gained in that earth-shaking audience with the Church elders. He could not forget - every time he looked at Little Kitty, he was reminded - of the cruelties they had perpetrated on this lost little girl. That they had hidden her, not only from her family but from her own self - they might not have been the ones to kidnap her in the first place, tearing her away from her home and parents, but they had certainly compounded the injustice in the twelve years that followed.

There was no possible way that the Puritan Church's motivations for hiding Princess Sakura away could have been as pure-hearted as they tried to claim. Oh, their fears for her safety and desire to protect her were reasons enough; they simply weren't the _only _reasons. Fai knew far too much of politics, both temporal and ecclesiastic, to lie to himself about that. Certainly it had been necessary to hide the Princess to protect her from the influence of Fei Wong Reed - but there were other ways that might have been accomplished that would still have allowed her to keep in contact with her family. The church had robbed them of that choice, capitalizing on the tragedy of the princess' abduction for their own gain.

The Apostate had sought, at the very least, to gain influence over the king and queen of Clow by controlling their only daughter; the Church elders had tried to accomplish much the same end. Of course, since the royal family was already Puritan, there would be little chance of violent strife resulting from their machinations - but the power, the prestige of being able to number a royal princess among their nuns was simply too tempting for them to pass up. Fai very much doubted any of the church elders had planned to keep her in hiding forever; if Fei Wong Reed had only waited a few more years, until Katherine had taken her oaths and was safely devoted to the Church, then they would no doubt have 'discovered' her and returned her to her place at court.

Fai knew - in a rational sense at least - that in the greater scheme of things it was only a minor offense. Certainly it was nothing compared to the cruelties, the atrocities committed on a grand scheme in the Crusades by soldiers of the Church. Compared to the lives lost, the wanton destruction and callous slaughter that Kurogane had reported, the concealment and deception of one young girl seemed like a small matter.

Yet it bothered him. It bothered him because he could not dismiss it as the work of a lesser servant or follower. The church soldiers that Kurogane had witnessed were only low-ranking laymen; though sad, it was not surprising to see them lose their way to God in their hot, hectic lives. They needed to be corrected, or if they could not be corrected, put on trial and expelled from the military Order whose precepts they had failed to follow.

But the church elders - they were the very embodiment of the Puritan Church, who lived all their lives steeped in the light of the Lord's guidance! They were supposed to be the ones who kept and maintained the holy scriptures, who listened to the whispers of Heaven and decided the path that the Church - and therefore all mankind on earth - should follow. They were no mere underlings; they _were_ the church, and an evil done knowingly by them - no matter how minor - could never be justified or forgiven.

Now that the night was quiet, and the last of their simple dinner was cooling in the bottom of the clay dishes, Little Kitty looked up at him and dared to ask the question that had been gnawing at her mind ever since she woke up the day before. "Fai-san," she asked hesitantly. "If - if you don't mind my asking - what is all this about? Why do we have to go on this trip? I didn't ask earlier, because you seemed to be in a hurry or worried about something, but… did I do something wrong?"

"No, Little Kitty," Fai hastened to assure her, smiling reassuringly at her. "You've done nothing wrong. However it seems, neither I nor anyone else back at the monastery meant anything but good for you."

"It's just that nobody has told me anything about what happened," Little Kitty went on, the bewilderment - and a touch of hurt - showing through as she spoke. "All the Revered Mother told me was that I should pack my things, because I was going on a pilgrimage - and that you would be with you, and that I should mind your commands and be sure to say my prayers. Nothing about _why. _I don't even know where we're going!"

Fai sighed. "Then you're not alone in that, Little Kitty; I don't know either," he admitted. "But to stay at Cattalina would only have put you in greater danger than ever."

"Fai-san…" Little Kitty put aside her bowl and raised her chin, her face tightening with determination. "You need to tell me what's going on, or else! What happened to me back at the monastery? I don't remember - I had a fainting spell, or perhaps - perhaps a fit, like the Mother said sometimes afflicts children or the elderly -" A frightened look flashed over her face; not of things from the outside that might attack her, but of her own body betraying her. "Have I been sent away for fear that I might make the others sick? Am I going to -"

"No, Little Kitty, it was nothing like that," Fai told her in a firm, quiet voice. Discreetly, he sent out a tendril of magic power to test the wards he had set up around the boundary of the clearing and along the road. They would tell him if anyone approached; not only that, they would warn him if any magic tried to come in opposition to his own. There was no one; the night was empty of bodies and magic both.

The reassurance that nobody could possibly be eavesdropping only deepened his dilemma. All afternoon, between bouts of doubt and depression, he had struggled with the question of what to tell her. The church elders had commanded him to say as little as possible, that their only protection lay in secrecy. But he could not lie to her, could not let her continue to worry and doubt and leave her in ignorance of the real threat. He sighed again. "I hate to have to burden you with such terrible things," he admitted. "But you will be burdened whether I like it or not, so you might as well know the truth about what you are facing. Little Kitty, it was not fatigue or illness that struck you down in the courtyard; you were attacked by evil magic."

"What?" Little Kitty's face went pale, her green eyes huge. "But - but why? Why would anyone want to do that? I've never - I don't think I've ever harmed anyone, or wronged anyone unknowingly, that they would -"

"You haven't," Fai hastened to reassure her. For a long moment more he hesitated, torn between the command to silence he had been given and his own firm conviction that those commands were wrong. She deserved to know, she should have been told many years ago; if Fai kept silent now, he would be complicit in the injustice that had been done to her. "I promise you, it was nothing that you have done… it was because of who you are."

"Who I am?" Little Kitty repeated in a mystified tone. "Fai-san, is this a riddle I'm supposed to guess? I'm nobody - well, a sister at the Cattalina orphanage, but that's all -"

"You were never 'nobody,' " Fai said firmly. "You have always been my dear Katherine - but - I have recently come to know that you are more, too."

"More?" Little Kitty huffed an exasperated sigh. "Are you having fun making me repeat after you like a parrot, or are you just going to come out and tell me what you're being so vague about?"

"All right, all right!" Fai laughed, but he quickly sobered. "I wish that there could have been more time to prepare you for this - but perhaps all the time in the world would not have been enough. Katherine, I came upon you when you were but a young child lost in the woods. This you know. But before I found you - before the time that you can remember - you were the daughter of the King and Queen of our country. You are a princess; you are the lost Princess Sakura."

For a moment Little Kitty's expression was only stunned, but then her face turned stormy. "Fai, this isn't very funny," she said sharply. "I'm not a little child any more; you don't have to tell me fairy tales in order to lull me to sleep. You shouldn't tease me like that."

"Little Katherine, I swear to heaven that I am not," Fai exclaimed. He came quickly around the fire and knelt in front of the log that Little Kitty was seated on; he took hold of her hands and looked up into her eyes. "I am telling you nothing less than God's own truth. You wanted to know why _you -_ that is why. Some evil magician - we suspect who, but we cannot know - stole you from your family and home when you were but a babe. For years you were safe, hidden behind the walls of the convent in Cattalina - but no more, it seems, for your enemy has found you again. It is his attention that we must flee; and for that reason I have been sent with you, to ward you by God's grace against any further harm. I am sorry - so sorry that for so long you did not know, that we did not tell you long ago. But what I am telling you now is true."

There was a long moment of silence between them, broken only by the crackle of the fire, the subtle noises of the night. Little Kitty's face was blank with shock. Fai squeezed her hand between his, to warm it, and waited. He could not make her accept it; he couldn't make this any easier for her.

"But I'm only fourteen," she said at last, sounding a little plaintive. "Princess Sakura - I mean, the princess who was lost - she would have been fifteen, everybody says so."

"Little Kitty, we could only guess your age when we found you," Fai said gently. "Like all the other orphans, we celebrated your birthday at Michaelmas, and counted each year of your age then. The Princess was born in the spring, and so her birthday passed a few months ago - you have been fifteen since the first of April of this year."

"But…" Little Kitty said, her chin wobbled as she stuttered for words. "I can't be. I mean, I'm nobody, I - I can't possibly be royal, a princess, that -"

"It doesn't seem so strange to me," Fai said, trying to project a cheerful tone. "I remember you as a child, after all - always so bossy, commanding the other Sisters this way and that as you swept the hearths during cleaning day. I should have known then that you were born to be a Queen!"

"A queen…" Little Kitty breathed, then her lip caught between her teeth as she inhaled sharply. She looked up at Fai, her eyes wide. "But - this means - that my parents are still alive, aren't they?" she stuttered. "The king and queen - but they're still alive! And they still - they want to see me, if I was stolen then that means - that means they never -"

"No, my dear," Fai said quietly, a stab of pain throbbing in his chest. "You were always wanted - you were never cast away."

"Can I see them?" Little Kitty beseeched him. "My parents, I mean? Oh, but - what if they want me to prove it?" Her expression was transformed into an agony of indecision. "They wouldn't believe just any orphan walking in off the street - I mean, I don't have any proof - do I? You and the other Church Elders, how did you find out?"

"No!" Fai said hastily. As much as he hated to do it, he had to shut down this line of thought before she became too transfixed on it. "I am sorry, Little Kitty, but it's just too dangerous for you to see them now. If the lost princess were to be found, it would be news that would rock the country - and your enemy would know exactly where to find you. You would have no defense against him."

"But -" Little Kitty started, a wheedling tone in her voice. "Hasn't the damage already been done? I mean, he found me once already. What will stop him from finding me again?"

"_I_ will," Fai promised her, in a voice that brooked no argument. He shook his head. "You must not speak of this to anyone but me, and never in public. Your greatest defense is in secrecy - anonymity. All of the College of Mages is working on a way to figure out how he is doing this and stop him for good. I promise you that someday, you will be able to reunite with your parents, and be Princess Sakura once again. In the meantime, you will remain Katherine, an orphan and a ward of the church."

Little Kitty looked crushed, and Fai felt like a monster. But he had no other choice; all questions of politics and morals aside, he had to protect her. Not just because she was the princess of his country, but because he loved her; if the Church had taken the place in his life of the family who had spurned him, then Katherine had taken the place of the children he would never have.

He started to speak - something frivolous and meaningless to distract her and cheer her up again - but stopped in midsentence as he felt a sudden chill, like cold air blowing across the back of his neck.

"What is it?" Little Kitty asked, seeing his sudden change of expression.

"My wards," Fai muttered, standing and moving away from the fire as he turned in the direction he had first felt the disturbance. "Something just crossed them."

Little Kitty gasped, her face growing pale. "Maybe - it's just a traveler?" she said hesitantly. "The road was so busy today, after all…"

Fai shook his head, his fingers already drawing runes upon the air. "No one on respectable business would be abroad this late," he said. "The only people out on so dark a night would be robbers - or people fleeing some disaster, or…"

He trailed off as the kenning spell began to take shape around him, knowledge filtering into his mind. It was strangely obscured, clouded, and that wasn't good; while shadows and concealing cloaks could hide one from normal sight, only magic could disguise itself from other magic. He only got a dim sense of a life-form flickering through the shadows, bearing the sullen, muted glow of evil magics. And it was coming towards them.

At least, whoever it was, there was only one of them. "Little Kitty, get on the other side of the fire," Fai instructed her as he reached up to unclasp his cloak and shrug aside the confining garment to free his hands. "Take one of those sticks and light the end in the fire - if anything comes towards you, hit it."

"Fai-san!" She sounded shocked by the instructions, and no wonder - never in her life had any adult actually encouraged her to violence. But Fai had no attention to reinforce the order, and he could hear the scraping and crackling sounds behind him that told him at least she had obeyed.

He kept one corner of his attention on her - the last thing he wanted was to become so distracted that his enemy snatched the girl from under his very nose - but most of his focus was on the approaching intruder. He spoke the Latin incantations softly, under his breath, and silver light wound around his hands and fingers. The light of the campfire darkened suddenly as though a bucket of earth had been dumped on it - but heat still blazed from it, and Fai could still see perfectly.

The intruder paused, as though uncertain where to go now that the light had been extinguished, but then crept forward after a few moments. The whispered incantations turned completely silent, Fai barely moving his lips as he prepared another spell - this one held on the tip of his tongue for the right moment.

A loud _snap _ of breaking foliage sounded from the verge of woods lining the road - Fai turned instantly towards the sound and launched the tangle of blue-white light from his hands. It shot away like an arrow in the darkness, guided unerringly not by sight but by sense. A yell of consternation sounded from the woods, abruptly cut off as the spell found its target; the ball unfurled into a complex net of white strands, which wound around the intruder's body and closed on themselves like a spider's cocoon.

The blue light faded, and the intruder's body toppled to the forest floor, stunned and immobile as a board.

"Lux," Fai called out, and the magical darkness lifted; he raised his hands, and the illumination grew until the entire clearing was infused with a silvery light. He turned around and gave Little Kitty a reassuring smile. "It's all right, Kitty. There was only one of them."

"Are you sure?" Little Kitty asked, peering warily around the fire. She had a burning brand clutched in her hand, although she was holding the lit end far away from her face.

Fai took a moment to cast around the area with his magical senses, and turned up only the normal night wildlife. "Positive," he said with a nod. "Now, let's see who this ruffian is and what he wants…"

"You didn't kill him, did you?" Little Kitty called out a bit nervously.

"No, he's only stunned. He'll be fine once it wears off," Fai reassured her. He reached the body and reached down to turn the face into the light. "Of course, if he really is a robber, he'll be less fine after we take him to the local magistrate and -"

He broke off, nearly tripping over his own feet as he boggled. "What?" Little Kitty called out anxiously, and she took a few cautious steps towards him. "What is it - _Syaoran?"_

"It can't be -" Fai performed another quick spell. It was possible for a skilled magician to create a golem, or even a homunculus, which had the appearance of a real human but obeyed only the caster's will. But the magical signature of such creatures was obvious to the trained eye, and he could see none of the telltales here. The boy in front of him was no more or less than he appeared to be, but - "What's he _doing _here?"

"Does he matter?" Little Kitty demanded. "It's Syaoran! Hurry, Fai, let him go! He can't move like that!"

Still slightly stunned, Fai quickly did as she said; the boy's body relaxed against the ground as the enchantment was removed, features smoothing into peaceful sleep. After a moment he groaned, and reached up cautiously to feel at his face with his hand. His eyes fluttered open, staring at the two anxious heads bending over his.

"Um… hello," he said after a moment, sounding slightly groggy. "Fai-san? Kitty-san? I've been looking for you for days! I finally found you!"

"You certainly did!" Fai said tartly, and reached down to take Syaoran's arm and haul him to his feet. "What were you thinking, stumbling around in the dark like a thief or worse? I could have seriously hurt you!"

"I'm sorry!" Syaoran said, looking guilty. "But I - well, wasn't able to catch up with you before it got dark, but I didn't want you to start off again tomorrow without me…"

"How did you know where to find us?" Little Kitty wanted to know.

"Oh - I've been asking people going the other way if they saw a pair of travelers that looked like you two," Syaoran said guiltily. "A man and a young girl traveling alone is somewhat unusual, you know…"

Fai looked at Syaoran sharply. "How did you know which road we'd taken in the first place?"

Syaoran looked at the ground, scuffing his foot in the dirt, and mumbled "I asked all the gatekeepers in Cattalina if they'd seen you. The ones on the south road told me where you'd gone."

Fai sighed. So much for an unremarked, unobtrusive departure.

"But, Syaoran, you still haven't said _why_ you're here," Little Kitty was saying worriedly. "Surely Father Miguel didn't give you permission to come after us? You'll get in terrible trouble!"

"No, he didn't," Syaoran said defiantly. "But I don't care! When I heard that you'd left the monastery, so soon after you'd been so sick, I knew that something was wrong! I had to come after you to make sure that you'd be all right."

The conversation hiccupped slightly as Syaoran and Little Kitty stared deeply into each other's eyes, and Fai almost groaned aloud. This was _not _ what he needed on this journey.

"As you can see, Syaoran, Katherine is just fine," Fai said gently but firmly, moving into Syaoran's line of sight. "But she's right; you don't have permission to leave Cattalina. You can stay here tonight, but in the morning, you're returning to the monastery."

"No!" Little Kitty cried out, at the same time Syaoran retorted strongly, "I'm not going!"

"Oh, yes you are," Fai said flatly. "This isn't a holiday trip, or even a normal pilgrimage. Katherine is in - " He stopped himself, took a breath and tried again. "This is no business for children. There could be a very great danger involved."

If he had hoped to cow Syaoran into obedience, he'd picked the wrong tactic, he realized belatedly. At the thought of danger to Little Kitty, Syaoran's expression grew stubbornly set. "That's why I _have_ to come along," he said. "I know it's dangerous. Everyone at the monastery knows! She wasn't just sick, she was attacked by some witchcraft! That's why I have to come along to protect her!"

"That's why _I'm_ with her, Syaoran," Fai reminded him gently. "Have faith in me, I will keep her from harm."

"Oh - I know you'd try your best," Syaoran exclaimed earnestly. "But if you'll forgive me, Fai-san, you're not exactly very…"

Fai's raised one eyebrow. Behind him, Little Kitty giggled softly. "Not very what?" he said dryly.

"Well, I'm sure you'd be just fine against a _magical_ attack," Syaoran said, sounding somewhat flustered. "But the world is a dangerous place! You could run into soldiers, or bandits, or - or zombies! Then how would you protect Kitty-san?"

The other eyebrow went up. Fai had forgotten that Syaoran, as with most of the other Cattalina orphans, had never seen the full power of Revered Mage in battle; the most they ever saw of him was when he performed harmless tricks and illusions for the entertainment of the children at festivals. "The same way I stopped _you _just a few moments ago?"

"I - well, that was pretty amazing," Syaoran admitted. "But you could still use _more_ help protecting her, couldn't you? After all, you have to sleep some of the time! I could keep watch for you. I want to help!"

Fai had to admit he had a point. More to the point, he thought as he glanced aside at Little Kitty, was how much good it might do her to have a familiar friend along. Whatever else his dramatic entrance had done, Syaoran had certainly served to distract her from the near-tearful unhappiness he'd inflicted on her. Her green eyes had been shadow-clouded ever since they'd left Cattalina; now, looking at Syaoran in the firelight, they danced.

He sighed. "Syaoran, I appreciate your bravery and devotion," he said. "But you're still young, barely more than a child yourself -"

"I'm not a child," Syaoran said stoutly. "I've had years of training with the strongest teacher in the world! I might not be any good compared to Kurogane-sama, but I bet I could take on any two-bit bandit with no problem!"

Fai wavered, struck with unexpected pain at the reminder of that name. "Yes… well," he said. "This isn't a game, you know. If we do get attacked, it probably won't be just any two-bit bandit. My answer is no. In the morning, you're going back to Cattalina to report to Father Miguel, and that's final."

"No, it's not," Syaoran said.

"What?" Despite himself, Fai couldn't keep the flash of anger out of his voice. "Don't be ridiculous. You can't -"

Syaoran looked out into the empty darkness of the woods. "With Kitty-san gone, and with my teacher gone, there's no reason for me to stay there any longer," he said quietly. "All I want is to find the people I care about in this world and stay close to them. If you really won't let me accompany you, Fai-san, then I'll go - but I won't go back to Cattalina. I'll go looking for Kurogane and travel with him, if he'll let me, so that I can complete my training. But I'm not going back."

Fai felt a surge of sympathy with the boy. For all that he was brash and headstrong, and didn't always stop to think before he acted, Syaoran was a good child - and he had a loyal soul. How could Fai, of all people, try to argue that Syaoran should abandon the people he cared about to serve a church he no longer believed in?

"Why don't we do both?" Little Kitty asked brightly.

Fai and Syaoran both looked at her. "What?" Fai asked.

"Why don't we go and find Kurogane-sama?" she suggested, then smiled. "I remember hearing you say, Fai-san, that he'd left the church too. We should find him and travel together. Then none of us would be lonely!"

"Yes!" Syaoran perked up, wholeheartedly endorsing this plan. "He could protect us! You know Kurogane is the best, Fai-san, you can't say he isn't."

"We can't do that." It was meant to be a flat ultimatum, but Fai heard he betraying waver in his voice. Doubt - it had crept into his heart, and he wasn't sure of anything any more…

"Oh, please?" Little Kitty appealed. "He's your friend, isn't he? I miss him a lot, and I know Syaoran does too…"

"He'll watch our backs," Syaoran added. "That way Kitty-san would have the best possible protection!"

Fai looked at them both; opened his mouth and then closed it, then raised his hands. "This was _supposed_ to be a _secret_ journey…"

"Come on, it's not like we're telling just anyone!" Sakura exhorted. "You know you can trust Kurogane-sama!"

"And besides," Syaoran said. "If dangerous things really are happening in Clow, then none of us should be alone right now."

"All right!" Fai found himself saying, as the last of his resistance caved. He was sure that the Church elders wouldn't approve - but then again, they weren't here, and they'd trusted Fai's judgment to look after the princess and keep her safe. Not that Fai was a poor protector by any standards, but Syaoran was right - he couldn't be on the alert all the time. A strong, trustworthy warrior would be an uncountable treasure, and there was no one more loyal of heart than Kurogane.

He wasn't even sure why he'd been so opposed to the notion in the first place, except that he wanted it himself so badly. He'd denied himself his own needs and wants for so many years that it had become reflexive - but at what point did self-discipline become self-betrayal?

_Kurogane…_ His soul burned at the thought of the tall, one-armed warrior. The familiar, gruff burr of his voice; the tan skin pulled tautly over corded muscle. The grip of his remaining hand, strong and calloused and careful, where it had rested on Fai's shoulder. It was no use, one thought of Kurogane and the Pandora's box threatened to open, to flood him with the feelings and lusts he'd packed so tightly away. Seeing him again - Fai wasn't sure he could bear it, without doing something that would shame them both.

But he had to - he owed it to the other man to see him again, and tell him the truths he'd learned about the Church. He owed it to Kurogane to tell him he'd been right, and to apologize for trying to force him to stay. To apologize for not leaving with him that very night, and make up for lost time.

_And besides;_ he tried to suppress the insidious thought, _I'm not under oath any more…_

That was probably _not _ what the Church elders had intended him to do once released from his oath - but then again, Fai wasn't sure how much he cared about their intentions any more.

Oblivious to his inner turmoil, Little Kitty and Syaoran had fallen to making excited plans. How was it, Fai thought with bemusement, that the adult of the group - and a Revered Mage to boot - was being ridden over by a pair of teenagers?

"We'll need to turn south when we reach the crossroads," Syaoran was saying, drawing lines in the dusty ground with a stick. "Kurogane left Cattalina by the eastern road. He has a week's lead on us, but he's not traveling very fast, so we should be able to catch up. He's been looking for work in each town that he passes through - we should have no trouble finding his trail."

"Do I want to ask how you know so much about where and when Kurogane went?" Fai asked dryly, and Syaoran flushed; he mumbled something about 'asked,' and Fai laughed. "You know, Syaoran, if you end up not completing your training as a knight you could still make a wonderful spy."

"I would never!" Syaoran said hotly. Little Kitty giggled, and Syaoran's flush deepened as he realized he'd been had. "I just pay attention to what's going on, that's all," he defended himself. "I'm not some kind of cowardly villain."

"Yes, you have quite a talent for it," Fai said, not entirely teasing. "Well, Syaoran, since you're so keen at paying attention, why don't you take first watch? Kitty and I are going to get some sleep."

"I'll do it, don't worry!" Syaoran said eagerly, almost glowing with the pride of earning Fai's trust. "Nobody will get past me!"

Fai didn't bother to mention the wards that he still had up around the campsite - they would alert him, even wake him from a sound sleep if need be. But it was no bad thing to let the boy take on some responsibility; now that they were out in the real world, both of the children would need to grow up in a hurry.

Pax or no Pax, Kurogane thought grimly, he really ought to have killed that woman when he'd had the chance.

He'd thought that by killing her armsmen, he would have made it clear that he was not to be trifled with. Truthfully, after that fight he'd had no intention of involving himself with her business again - but he'd underestimated how far she would go in order to keep her secrets.

The night after their disastrous 'job interview,' a fire had been set in the cramped inn room where he'd been sleeping. The hallway had been completely blocked by flames; he'd only escaped because he was able to smash through the wooden boards around the window and leap from the second floor.

By then it became clear that 'staying out of it' was not an option - someone had to stop her or at least report what was going on, and so he'd set out for the nearest town large enough to house a garrison of Templars. He'd avoided settlements in the meantime; the last thing he wanted was for more innocent people to be hurt in this insane woman's schemes, and the tiny towns within reach were all too small to host any kind of punitive force anyway.

He'd been walking along the flat riverbank under an overcast sky, eyeing the heavy clouds above and wondering if there was any chance he could get to town before it opened up on him. Sure, he'd been rained on plenty of times in the field - but the experience didn't mean he'd enjoyed it.

The sound had alerted him - the faint whistling noise an arrow made as it arced through the air. He'd whirled around to face across the river just in time to see a tiny black smudge in the air above, and just barely managed to dodge it - knowing even as he did so that the black arrow that thudded heavily into the sand beside him was only the first of many.

He hadn't wasted any time - he'd crashed straight into the underbrush among the trees, where the heavy trunks and screening canopy of leaves would foul any archer's sights. All afternoon he'd played hide-and-seek with the company - he'd been unable to get close enough to him to count their numbers - hunted him through the forest; now, just as the sky darkened ominously and the first fat raindrops began to fall, they'd caught up with him.

There were six of them - there _had _ been seven, Kurogane thought with grim satisfaction, but the seventh was slumped against a tree trunk at the edge of the clearing, eyes glazed open in death as his life pumped away from the gash opened in his torso. That had taught them, at least, better than to come rushing at him one at a time; they were circling warily, now, trying to find a way to charge at him as a group without tripping over their own feet or sticking each other with their weapons. _Amateurs, _Kurogane judged them disgustedly; they had no idea how to work in formation.

Amateurs or not, though, six-to-one odds were pretty steep for even Kurogane to overcome. Already he was wounded, blood seeping from a wound on his bad side that he simply had not been able to block in time. The cold rain beginning to fall from the clouds overhead washed the blood down his side, and the cold was beginning to make him feel lightheaded. He wasn't sure how badly he was injured, but it was enough that his steps were slower and his breath harder than it should have been, and agony stabbed through his side every time he shifted his shoulder. He didn't mean to die here, cut down in the mud like a dog by some two-bit thugs for hire - not he, Kurogane of Suwa, once the premiere warrior of the Knights Templar.

But he'd left the church behind, knowingly and willingly - and even if he hadn't, his old mentor had warned him against the folly of relying on faith and prayer in a pitched battle of steel. _Never forget, _ the old man had told him in a voice that had seen too many winter campaigns, _that the enemy is praying just as loud as you._

He glared his opponents, baring his teeth in a snarl. "Come on!" he roared, rain soaking into his hair and dripping into his eyes. "Don't just stand around like whores at a wedding, come and take me on if you're man enough!"

The taunt stung them into motion; two of them rushed him from either side, the other four moving hesitantly around as if searching for an open angle of attack. Kurogane sprang into action; he parried the first man's sword, twisting the hilt in an attempt to force him to drop his sword while he kicked out at the other opponent. But the cold and his injury made him wobbly, and the rain made the ground slippery underfoot - he wobbled, and both of his counters faltered and failed. He was barely able to force his attackers back, and immediately had to launch into a desperate series of counterswings to keep their weapons at bay as the other four closed in.

"Sensei!"

Only Kurogane's martial discipline - and, to be fair, a healthy sense of self-preservation - stopped him from whipping around to see where that shout had come from. It _couldn't _ be - !

Fortunately his opponents had less restraint than he did - several of the circling ones stopped their approach to stare in astonishment, and one of the ones facing him actually _turned _ to look in that direction. Gotcha! Kurogane thought triumphantly, and drove his sword forward. He scored a hit, and the man cried out and staggered back, blood spattering on the muddy ground - but it was only a flesh wound, not a mortal blow, and he wasn't out of the fight yet. Still, even a little bit of respite was a few more seconds bought -

The sky opened up then, with a crack of thunder almost directly overhead and a flash of light that almost blinded the eye. A hissing sound filled the clearing as the scattered drops of rain turned to a heavy sheet, and the ground turned from slippery to swampy in under a minute. Visibility was shot all to hell, but Kurogane didn't need to _see_ his enemies to know they were there.

He sensed movement, saw a silhouette coming at him through the rain, and Kurogane reacted on instinct - he barely managed to pull his sword up short of its goal as he registered that the figure was much too short to have been any of his attackers. "Sensei!" the voice cried again, and Kurogane snarled with frustration as he recognized the voice.

"What the hell are you doing here, kid?" he snarled. "This is no place for a green sapling like you -"

"It's not just me! We came looking for you and we found you and you were in trouble so we came to help!" Syaoran said in a breathless rush. The first wave of torrential downpour had passed off; although the rain was still heavy, it had cleared enough for him to see his student's anxious face and wide brown eyes.

Grudgingly Kurogane had to admit, even if he wasn't about to say so out loud, that the help was welcome. Six-to-two odds were far better than six-to-one - wait - "Who's 'we'?" Kurogane snapped. His head was already up and scanning the battlefield. Seven enemies, one down, one wounded; the remaining five had scattered a bit during the sudden rainfall and unexpected appearance of another opponent, but they were closing warily again. And behind them, a tall pale figure holding the reins of a mule in one hand and waving vigorously with the other.

"Yoo-hoo! Kuro-chan!" the figure cheered, and Kurogane groaned. This was the _last _thing he needed right now. And who the hell was that behind Fai on the mule? Too short to be one of the other Holy Sorcerers, but surely it couldn't be - "Getting into trouble again?"

"Either help, or stay out of the way!" he roared at Fai, and fell back a step in an attempt to find better footing in this swamp muck.

His enemies wavered for a moment, confused by the multiplication of targets; then one big man in chain-and-leather armor jerked his head towards Fai and the mule, and barked out, "Get him! No witnesses!"

One of the five veered off, heading towards the mule with grim intent - but Kurogane's eyes narrowed as he at last identified their leader. Killing him might not send the others running, but it would at least confuse and dismay them. The other four split up and came towards them, two by two; two for Syaoran and two for himself. Kurogane grinned; _excellent. _He wasn't worried about Fai - he'd spent enough time in the man's company to know that he could more than well defend himself.

"Stay close to me, kid, and guard my flank," he instructed Syaoran, and saw the boy's nod out of the corner of his eye. This time he made the first move, lunging forward towards the man he'd pegged as leader before the others were in position.

He scored a hit - barely more than a cut on the shoulder, but the man yelled like a stuck pig and hurled himself backwards out of range. "To me, men!" he cried, and two of the other mercenaries scrambled awkwardly to cover for him. The fourth man stayed on Syaoran, and Kurogane barely had time to glance over and see his student engaging the man with a resounding clash of steel before he was forced to look to his own defense.

Two against one - Kurogane began to really think, for the first time this day, that he might survive to see nightfall.

Then there was no time for thinking, all time and all horizons narrowed down to the grunt and clash of steel on steel, the scream and scrape of swords and the hot metal spray of blood. Kurogane had the advantage of longer reach, and also better armor - his chest was plate, with scale and chain covering most of the rest of him. In contrast, the mercenaries had only part-chain armor stitched with boiled leather, which would deflect a glancing blow but provided no protection against a direct hit.

Still, there _were_ two of them - and he was hurt and tired, and his entire left side was vulnerable. And his armor had its own weak points at every joint and seam, chinks in his defenses which every swordsmen sought out mercilessly. Kurogane took a deep cut to his left leg, and a hard blow to his elbow left his arm feeling dangerously numb. It was all he could do to fend off the attacks of his two enemies, and he had no time or chance to mount his own offensives.

Fortune was with him - thunder rumbled jarringly overhead, and one of his enemies slipped and staggered in the mud. His weight shifted, flailing half-balanced as he tried to regain his footing, and Kurogane saw the opening and struck at it with all his might in the same moment. He had to turn his undefended side to his other enemy to do it, and paid for that lapse in more blood as a savage blow slid between the seams of his plate to slice along his side. But it was enough - the stricken mercenary gasped and shuddered as his own blood began to spill out through the gaps in his chainmail, and he fell to his knees as Kurogane turned away from him.

"Devil!" the mercenary cried out. "You should be dead twice over by now! What does it take to kill you?" He struck out again, flailing almost wildly with his sword in his terror; against such an undisciplined attack, Kurogane had little trouble even in his weakened state to knock his sword aside and cut him down.

That left only the mercenary captain, standing in the mud with the blood of his lieutenants mixing with puddles of rain around him.

* * *

><p>~to be continued...<p>

**Author's Note:** Bit off a cliffhanger there, yeah - sorry, no good place for a chapter break. Continued tomorrow...


	4. The Squire's Fealty

**Title**: Pure Heart, White Mage  
><strong>Rating<strong>: PG-13  
><strong>Warnings: <strong>Angst, religious themes  
><strong>Spoilers<strong>: None; AU from canon.

**Summary**: Kidnapping, curses, and assassination - and at the middle of it all is the Puritan Church. In the midst of a political and magical upheaval, Fai must face the choice between preserving his faith - and protecting those he loves.

**Author's Note:_ Please read this note or you may be very confused._**

This fic was written for the remix challenge held on the kuroxfai community on Livejournal in October 2011. That means that it was intentionally and deliberately modeled on another author's fic, to the extent that some sections of the text are nearly word-for-word with the original. **This was done with the author's knowledge and permission.** Please do not accuse me of plagiarism or unoriginality if parts of this fic seem uncannily familiar to you.

The fic being remixed is _Black Cat, White Mage_ by sweetjerry. (Known as Lotten on - you can find her page through my Favorite Authors tab.)

* * *

><p>"You're out of men to hide behind, pig," Kurogane growled, and took a step forward. Rain sluiced down his blade, cutting currents through the bloodstains to drip in a pink-tinged waterfall onto the ground.<p>

The mercenary captain ground his teeth, but took up the challenge as he leapt to attack. He was a big, heavy man and no doubt was accustomed to using his size and bulk to drive his enemy backwards and overwhelm them before he cut them down. No doubt it was an effective tactics against others; not against Kurogane. Instead, Kurogane just let him come, locking his enemy's sword with his own and digging in his own heels to absorb the enemy's momentum. For a moment the two of them hung, locked in combat - the mercenary captain's two-handed grip straining against Kurogane's one - and then Kurogane lifted his leg and slammed his foot brutally into his enemy's stomach.

The man was wearing chain-mail, but that could only stop an edged blade - against such a blow as this one it might as well have been paper. The captain grunted in anguish and staggered back, the tip of his sword dropping to the ground. Kurogane followed him, sweeping the hilt of his sword around in his fist to crash against the side of the man's head, dizzying and stunning him. The force of the second blow actually dented the metal of the helmet, twisting it around his head and blinding him; the captain shouted in consternation as he desperately reached up to pull the helmet around so he could see out of it.

Before he could get his wits back, Kurogane brought his sword around again - edge-first, this time - and slashed deeply into the muscle of his arm, forcing the man to drop his own sword. He staggered to his knees - defeated and knowing it - and looked up at the Knight with vicious hatred writ loud on his face.

"Demonspawn!" the leader shouted at him, blood and spittle running from the corner of his mouth as his eyes blazed with hatred. "You're too late, whatever you do! God knows the righteous, and this whole depraved country will be consumed by war and hellfire! The black father will take -"

Kurogane was not paying any attention to the man's ranting; he had heard this a dozen times, in various languages, since he'd been away on the Crusades. He drew back his arm and sliced him almost negligently across the throat, cutting him off in a choked gurgle mid-sentence.

He waited only long enough for the body to topple, certain that his opponent was really dead, before turning to find his allies. Three dead, one had gone after Fai, that left one for Syaoran - and somehow the idiot had gotten separated from him, driven halfway across the clearing by his larger opponent. The mercenary towered over Syaoran by two heads, and both his arms and his weapon gave him a much improved reach; still Syaoran was able to hold his own, blocking or parrying each of the savage, killing strokes.

Yet despite that, he wasn't pressing any attacks of his own - only a few tentative strikes from Kurogane's training repertoire, easily countered by an experienced fighter like the thug he faced. He lacked the bloodthirst, the killing drive necessary to see a vulnerable moment and act on it, the narrowing mindset where all that mattered was spilling your enemy's blood on the sand as fast and as thoroughly as possible.

_Fool boy, _Kurogane thought grimly, _I told him this was no place for an amateur. _ His sword was still stuck in the mercenary captain's neck; he had to brace his foot against the body's chest and struggle to pull it free. Before he could move across the clearing, though, he saw a small figure creeping out of the woods behind the pair locked in melee. Another mercenary? Kurogane's adrenaline-fueled lunge across the battlefield was arrested when the newcomer positioned themselves behind Syaoran's opponent, raised their arms, and belted the mercenary across the back of the head with a club.

The man let out a noise like a gurgle and staggered forward; Syaoran's sword, raised in a parry stance, pierced him through the lower chest more-or-less accidentally. The boy yelped and scrambled backwards, eyes wide as blood spilled from his enemy's abdomen just as Kurogane caught up with them.

"Sensei!" he blurted out, eyes bugging out of a pale face. Kurogane couldn't tell whether he meant it as an appeal for help, a cry of a relief, or a protest against the sudden specter of mortality - or all three. He glanced down at the fallen mercenary, appraising the wound; it was serious, but not immediately mortal, so Kurogane finished him off with a quick thrust to the heart. The mercenary jerked once, gurgled, and went limp.

"I've told you a dozen times, don't get in a fight if you aren't going to be serious about it!" Kurogane shouted, turning on Syaoran in a fury born of fear. "This isn't the training salle! When someone is trying to kill you, you had better to be ready to kill him, or you're just crow-bait walking! If it hadn't been for this guy's help -" Kurogane started, then abruptly halted as he took in the identity of Syaoran's unexpected savior.

He'd never had direct business with the Cattalina orphanage, apart from those youths like Syaoran who became squires to the Knights Templar. However, he'd heard far too much of Syaoran's enthralled descriptions of his lady-love not to recognize the wide, blinking green eyes - although he couldn't for the life of him remember her _name_. "You!" he said in astonishment. "God's blood, what are you _doing_ here?"

Both the youths were visibly shocked by his language, but Kurogane couldn't bring himself to care. "Um -" The girl looked just as shocked and pale as Syaoran, and she still clutched the heavy branch she'd used as a weapon in both hands, as though she expected to be attacked again at any minute. "I came with Fai-san, and he - and we -"

"_By the Father and his hosts!_" The familiar voice rang out across the rain-drenched battlefield, and Kurogane's stomach - unfazed by any of the blood or death of the day so far - did an odd little flip as Fai advanced across the slippery grass towards them. "What were you _thinking_? You idiot, I told you to stay back in the trees, out of sight - what if anything had happened to you? And where did you get that club -"

"But he was trying to hurt Syaoran-san!" the girl protested, somewhat weakly. "And besides, _you _ told me to take the stick, and if anything came after me, to hit them with it -"

"If they came after _you! _I meant for you to defend yourself, not throw yourself into an armed fight between warriors - " By the sound of it, Fai was working up to a full tirade. For once he didn't even try to cover up his true feelings with a smile or a laugh, and the angry scowl that he turned on his young charge - as well as the furious flash of his blue eyes - made Kurogane's mouth go dry.

This was _not_ the right moment for this.

Kurogane glanced around the soaking clearing, taking automatic inventory of the carnage. Apart from the one that the kids had inadvertently tag-teamed, there was the leader halfway across the battlefield, with his two lieutenants lying in tumbled heaps not far away. Kurogane was less surprised than he ought to have been to see the one that had gone after Fai lying face-down in a puddle, not moving; there was no visible blood or wounds, but a faint smell of ozone permeated the air. That made five, and with the one Kurogane had killed earlier - _wait a minute -_

His thoughts flew back through the confusion of the fight. The one mercenary he'd struck on the arm, severing tendons and muscle and forcing him to drop his sword. He hadn't pressed the attack on Kurogane after the first downpour had cleared, and in fact Kurogane hadn't seen him again for the rest of the fight.

He swore under his breath, too preoccupied to take notice of the three pairs of surprised and/or reproving eyes that turned on him. "Kurogane! What kind of knight uses such language in the presence of a lady -"

"There's still one out there," Kurogane interrupted him brusquely. His hand clenched around the hilt of his sword, and he forced himself to his feet; the battle-craze had had time to drain, and he staggered dizzily as the cold and pain of his injuries assaulted him. _Battle's not over yet_, he told his body ruthlessly, and set off at a stiff lope towards the edge of the clearing. "One I hit on the arm, but it wasn't enough to kill him -"

"That one?" Fai caught up with him easily, the smaller man moving as fluidly as though he'd never been in a fight at all. "I saw him running off downstream after you killed the big one - what's wrong?"

Kurogane changed direction, veering towards the river in response to Fai's words. The low-hanging branches and thick summer undergrowth slowed him; he slashed at it with his blade, but the water-heavy foliage resisted him. Fai tagged along behind, keeping up seemingly effortlessly. Of course, _he _hadn't fought and killed five other swordsmen today, Kurogane thought with resentment; just like a Holy Sorcerer, to leave all the heavy lifting to someone else.

The plants finally gave way before them, and Kurogane burst out onto the clear space of the riverbank, gravel crunching under his boots. He thought briefly of bowshot range and clear line-of-sight, not knowing whether these mercenaries were the same bowmen from earlier - but no missiles came at them from the other side of the river. Movement from further down the strand caught his eye, and he saw the grey-and-brown figure of the last mercenary stumbling away as fast as his legs would carry him.

"Kurogane, let him go," Fai was saying beside him. "They failed - he won't be back to trouble us again. And you're hurt, you need treatment - "

"We can't let any of them escape!" Kurogane said, and steeled himself to run in pursuit. A wave of dizziness engulfed him as his injuries screamed, and what he amounted to was more of a stagger than a run, but he grimly set himself to continue. "If he gets word to his boss -"

Fai grabbed Kurogane's arm hard enough to jolt him to a stop. Kurogane whirled to face him, a snarl on his face. "Mage -" he started.

"Hush," Fai said. He was frowning up at the heavy clouds overhead, oblivious to the water sheeting into his eyes. He raised his right arm towards the clouds, and blue light glowed from his hand as he uttered a few words in Latin that made the hair stand up on the back of his neck.

A horrendous crack of thunder sounded overhead, and Kurogane's vision seared with a bolt of blue light that rent the world from sky to ground.

Momentarily blind and deafened, he swayed without balance and would have fallen except for Fai's supportive hand. When his vision cleared, he found himself staring at a smoking pit on the riverbank. There was no further sign of their runner.

"There," Fai said. He sounded incredibly smug. "Not bad for the range, is it? Much more accurate than a missile shot - and more effective, too -"

Kurogane found his voice. "You _idiot!" _ he exclaimed.

"What?" Fai sounded hurt. "You were the one who said, and I quote, 'We can't let any of them escape, we can't let them get back to their boss.' Now you're calling me an idiot? I call that ungrateful."

"Yeah, I didn't want any of them to escape because I _didn't want their boss to know where we are!"_ Kurogane roared. "But now they don't _need_ to hear from any survivors, because you just lit a goddamn signal fire showing everyone in a five-mile radius that we're here!"

Fai let out a loud, exasperated sigh. "Kuro-pon, we're standing in the middle of a _thunderstorm. _Lightning strikes happen - I don't think anything will seem out of the ordinary…"

"Yeah, except most of the time lightning that comes out of a storm isn't _blue!" _Kurogane snarled. "You and your show-off…"

He took a step forward, and his injured leg suddenly gave way underneath him; the world blanked out for a moment as he fell, only to jolt back into place as his knees hit the gravel bar. Strong hands caught him before he could keel on his face, and Fai helped him sit up on the muddy ground with his back against a bigger stone.

"You really need to take it easy, Kuro-pon," Fai said, and for once the easing tone he usually adopted was completely missing from his voice. "You've lost a lot of blood. That was a close fight - you're lucky we found you when we did."

He was right about that, although Kurogane wasn't about to admit it. "What are you even doing out here, anyway?" he grumbled. "With the kids in tow, no less? Don't tell me the General sent you out here to beg me to come back."

Fai laughed, sounding startled. "Actually, nothing of the sort," he said, and Kurogane kind of wanted to smack him for that condescending tone. "No, no one sent me to look for you - frankly, I'm not sure the Knights would take you back unless you were ready to do some pretty serious genuflecting."

"Not likely," Kurogane grumbled. "So if nobody sent you, then why are you here? Don't tell me you finally wised up to what I told you, and left those assholes to their own devices." Although he struggled to keep a skeptical tone, Kurogane couldn't help but feel hope rise in his chest at the thought. If Fai had changed his mind, and come looking for Kurogane on his own initiative…

"No -" Fai fell silent, the garrulous man unusually hesitant to speak for once. "Well - not exactly."

"They didn't kick you out, did they?" Kurogane said with rising interest. What could goody-two-shoes Fai Flowright possibly have done to annoy the Elders that much?

"No!" Fai said, quickly and sharply. He sighed. "It's a long story, Kuro-pon, and it's kind of complicated. I'll be glad to tell you everything, but we really need to find the kids again and get somewhere under shelter. Despite your tough puppy act, you _are _ hurt, and we can't stay out all night in this rain."

"We're not going to get back to any kind of settlement before dark," Kurogane said grumpily. He finally got the leverage to sheathe his sword - it really needed to be cleaned and dried, but that would have to wait until they got to safety, and he couldn't do anything else as long as he had it in his hand. "I've been on the run from this pack of losers since morning."

"That's no problem. We'll camp out!" Fai said, regaining his cheery demeanor as he scrambled to his feet. "Kitty and I have been doing it for a few days now. All we need to find is some sort of shelter from the rain. Where did Kuro-sama leave his pack and gear?"

"I didn't," Kurogane grunted. "Everything I've got is on me now. All my campaign gear belongs to the Order, and I sure as hell wasn't going to beg them for it when I left."

"Eh?" Fai turned wide blue eyes of astonishment on him. He whistled. "How unusually shortsighted of you! Have you been sleeping in trees like a monkey, then? Bare to the wind and rain? It's not been cold these past few nights, but still - "

"I've _been_ sleeping in inns," Kurogane snarled, bristling at the slight on his competence. "I didn't anticipate pissing off a crazy spy lady enough to send an army of mercenaries after my guts!"

"Hmm," Fai said, cocking his head to the side. "I can see there's a long and complicated story for you to tell, too."

"But that's for later!" He grinned, and offered his hand to help Kurogane to his feet. "Once we're all cozy in front of a fire. We don't have enough blankets for four people, though, so we'll have to share!" He winked outrageously, and Kurogane felt a small spike of anger at the mage's typical, outrageous flirting."

"Oh, sure," he said with more than a trace of bitterness in his voice. He reached out and took Fai's hand, hauling a little more forcefully than necessary to get to his feet. "I'll be sure to keep my sword between us then, so that you don't have to worry about your precious vow of chastity."

"Actually…" Fai staggered a bit as Kurogane made it to his feet; somehow Kurogane ended up with the mage very close into his personal space. Fai stared down at their still-clasped hands; after a moment's hesitation, he swallowed and then spoke again. "Actually, I'm not under any oaths right now."

"What?" Kurogane said, almost putting a crick in his neck as he turned to stare at Fai. "The hell? I thought you said they didn't kick you out!"

"They didn't!" Fai denied vehemently. "It's… it's complicated. But when they sent me on this mission they renounced all of the vows I took to the order, so that I could… do whatever I had to do." He started to move forward, but the tug to his arm when Kurogane didn't move with him pulled him back.

"Sometime soon," Kurogane said, "you really have to tell me about this supposed mission. I like it already." Deliberately, he squeezed Fai's hand.

At last the mage lifted his head to meet Kurogane's gaze head-on, and the jolt that went down Kurogane's spine as their eyes locked. There was lust in Fai's eyes, and the same bright and happy excitement burning got as Greek fire that had attracted Kurogane to him in the first place. As well, though, there was still a caution that shadowed his eyes and tightened his smile - a fear not of the consequences, but of knowing that there would _be_ no consequences to stop them from taking the next step.

Voices sounded in the woods behind them, and the swish and crash of bodies stumbling through the undergrowth. The two of them came back to awareness of the situation with a start, and their hands sprang apart as though burned; Kurogane's went quickly to the hilt of his sword, then stopped as he recognized the voices as friendly. "Sensei?" his student called, blending with the girl's voice; "Kurogane-sama?"

"We're over here, children," Fai raised his voice as he turned away from the warrior, and Kurogane stalked over towards the water's edge with a growl. Didn't it just _figure_ that for the first time in years they were out of the stifling walls of the convent, free of Fai's stupid vows and the disapproval of the elders, and Fai had felt the need to bring along an _audience._

"Are you all right?" he said abruptly as Syaoran cleared the tree line. "Did you see anyone else in the woods?"

"No, no one else," Syaoran said with a quick nod. The little nun followed behind him, one hand fisted around the reins of their mule; the animal balked and snorted, obviously not liking the reek of ozone drifting downwind from the lightning strike, but she kept a firm hand on him.

"You were gone for a while, and we got worried," the girl said, turning big pleading eyes on Fai. "And - and besides, the men in that clearing - they -"

"I thought Kitty-san should get away from that place," Syaoran said in a hushed whisper. "She shouldn't have to see such ugliness and violence."

By the pale greenish tinge that lingered in his student's face, Kurogane thought that the girl wasn't the only one who'd wanted to get away from the reek of blood and death that had permeated that clearing - if that wasn't just the shock talking. He sighed. The mage was right; they needed to find shelter, not only so he could treat these stupid injuries but so that he could coach his student through the aftermath of his first real life-or-death battle. He owed it to him, as part of a knight's training.

"All right," he growled. "We're all here - now let's get the hell out of this rain."

"Kurogane! Language!" Fai reproved him - but his eyes were laughing.

* * *

><p>The rain settled in steadily as twilight fell. Syaoran scouted ahead as Sakura led the mule, with Kurogane leaning somewhat ungraciously on Fai's shoulder. Just when Kurogane was gloomily certain they would have to spend the night in the woods in the rain after all, an excited shout from Syaoran reached his ears.<p>

Syaoran had found an old abandoned parish church; it was centuries old, built to serve a town that no longer existed here. When a fire had raged through the church they had not bothered to rebuild it, simply abandoning the building and moving to a larger town. Tthe windows were knocked out by wind or animals, and drafts blew through the gaps in the walls, but the roof overhead was still whole.

Within short order they were able to clear the dirt and droppings and cobwebs from the nave, and even gotten a fire started from the remains of the wooden benches that had once been pews. The only piece of furniture that remained intact was the altar stone, a large block of neatly cut marble centered in the pulpit.

"Little Kitty," Fai called out as the kids were busily unloading the aggravated mule. It seemed somehow sacrilegious to bring a mule inside the church, but the animal could hardly do any more damage to the place than the wild animals already had done. "I hate to have to ask you to go out again, but very soon it will be dark. I need you to go find the old church's garden and get some healing herbs for Kuro-chan."

"Are you sure it'll be all right?" she asked worriedly. "What should I look for?"

"Mandrake and tormentil would be best," Fai replied, "but there might not be any left in the garden - don't go out of shouting range of the church. If nothing else, there should be some lady's mantle by the riverbank that would work in a pinch."

"I'll go with her!" Syaoran immediately volunteered, and the two of them stamped out of the church into the rain-filled twilight with more energy than Kurogane could even _think_ of mustering, at this point.

As the echoes of the childrens' voices faded, he turned to face Fai, who was looking at him with a faint smile on his face. "All right, what are you up to?" he growled.

Fai returned a patently fake look of innocent. "Up to? Now why, Kuro-suspicious, would I be up to anything?" he said.

"I know damn well that mandrake is a primary reagent in half the spells you guys cast," Kurogane said. "Even you wouldn't be so stupid as to leave home without a good supply of it on you. Why'd you pretend you didn't have any?"

"Because I wanted a moment of privacy, Kuro-chan," Fai said, and his smile turned subtly feral. He pushed away from the wall he'd been leaning on and approached Kurogane with something resembling a stalk.

"Is this really the time for this?" Kurogane said, although without much real heat. He didn't want Fai to think that he could just walk over Kurogane all the time - but at the same time, who the hell was he to object to Fai finally giving in to what they'd _both_ wanted for so long?

"Do you see a better time in the near future?" Fai breathed, inserting himself neatly into Kurogane's personal space and winding his arms around the warrior's neck. His hand exerted an insistent pressure on the back of Kurogane's head, and he bent his head obligingly until their lips met in a searing kiss.

Fai backed Kurogane across the floor until something hit the back of his thighs, and he sat abruptly down on the flat surface. "Oh, for God's sake. On the altar, seriously?" he demanded as he broke away from Fai's mouth.

"Why, Kuro-chan, and here I thought you were the one who didn't care for such delicate sensibilities," Fai said, grinning cheekily. He pressed his knee impatiently between Kurogane's, nudging his legs apart until he could stand between his thighs, then kissed him again. Fai's mouth tasted of salt and lightning, and his hands on Kurogane's upper arms were scorchingly hot.

"Besides, there's nowhere else to sit in here," he said breathlessly when they broke apart for air. His nimble hands went to work undoing Kurogane's armor, and Kurogane hissed as he had to tug rather roughly at some of the buckles that had broken or bent in today's combat. "Unless you'd want to try sitting on one of those pews… it's up to you, Kuro-stoic, but I'd be the one picking the splinters out of your backside afterwards…"

"Stop sounding like you'd enjoy that so much," Kurogane grumbled, raising his arm to allow Fai to heave the steel cuirass over his head. He breathed a sigh of relief once it was off; and while he'd rather not have Syaoran around as an audience, thank God he was going to have his squire around tomorrow to help him get this thing back on.

He shivered as the cold air hit his damp clothes; between the rain and the sweat of battle, his shirt was pretty much soaked through. Fai's hands returned the next moment, though, and even though the mage had to be just as wet from the rain he didn't show it. Probably cheating with magic, Kurogane thought, even as his one hand slid up the outside of Fai's leg and splayed across the base of his spine.

The sound of Fai's moan in his ear was just as gratifying as he'd always thought it would be.

"You're cold," Fai breathed, as his palms skimmed over Kurogane's shoulder and back.

"It's raining outside and I'm sitting around in my undershirt, what do you expect?" Kurogane snapped.

"It's more than that though," Fai said, and he pulled back and opened his eyes. His pupils were dilated, although they contracted back to normal as Fai looked him over more clinically, hands touching the red-stained slashes in Kurogane's shirt. "How much blood have you lost?"

"Dunno," Kurogane said.

"I'm serious," Fai warned him in a voice that held a hint of steel.

"So am I," Kurogane returned. "I was a lot busier concentrating on getting hits in on _them_ than counting the ones they got on me!" He stopped to consider his condition; weak, dizzy, cold, throbbing - and not in the fun way - and compared it with his experience on the battlefield. "I'm not in any danger. I would have told you if I were."

"Hmm," Fai said, his tone clearly expressing his disagreement. He ran sensitive fingers over the gash in Kurogane's side - it was hours old by now, and was leaking blood only sluggishly. Kurogane couldn't help the wince, and Fai sighed. "First things first," he said.

He'd only gotten the shirt halfway over Kurogane's head - with much wincing and snappish comments on both sides as he'd pulled the cloth away from the wounds - when the sound of voices in the doorway told them the kids had returned. Syaoran had brought along a load of branches, in addition to Little Kitty's wrapped bundles of herbs, and he set them beside the fire to dry for firewood later. Both of the kids - especially the girl - looked dismayed when presented by the sight of Kurogane's scarred, bloody chest; but he displayed such indifference to the cuts that they soon got over their hesitance.

Little Kitty was actually the one to tend to him, with Fai mostly supervising; Kurogane was doubtful at first, but then he saw the way the activity calmed and relaxed her, taking her mind off the slaughter and danger of earlier. He raised his arm over his head and tried not to let a blush heat his face as Fai and Little Kitty between them wrapped bandages around his torso; he'd been treated in field hospitals for similar wounds a dozen times, but never simultaneously by a maiden and his… _whatever_ they were going to be to each other. Lover? Paramour?

"Hey," Kurogane said, watching the girl bite her lip in concentration as she pinned the bandage on his remaining arm. "I saw you, during the fight. That was pretty brave of you."

"Really?" Little Kitty looked up at his face, her green eyes wide in surprise. Then she flushed, and looked back down at the bandage she was tying. "Th-thanks."

"You might want to get something sturdier than a branch next time, though," Kurogane continued.

Fai huffed out his breath, and leveled a nasty glare at him. "Don't encourage her to do foolish things," he warned in a low tone.

"I had to!" Little Kitty said, picking up the argument as if no time had passed. "Syaoran was in danger! He might have been killed!"

"Then Kurogane would be the one to help him, if he couldn't help himself," Fai snapped. "Not you!"

"Kitty-san, it wasn't worth you putting yourself in danger for," Syaoran said from across the chamber, his voice placating. "I would have been okay for a little longer, and Sensei was already on his way."

"But you _told_ me to defend myself," Little Kitty protested. "Why doesn't that mean I should protect the ones I care about, too?"

"She has a point," Kurogane interjected, before Fai could explode. "In fact, it wouldn't be a bad idea to teach her some tricks for self-defense."

"What?" Fai and Syaoran chorused simultaneously, turning their shocked gazes on Kurogane.

"Stop giving me the evil eye," Kurogane told his companions, although his gaze locked with Fai. "Get past your knee-jerk reactions and think for a moment. We're probably going to be attacked again, and even with the three of us guarding her, it's still possible that they might slip past us. What if someone had grabbed her during the fight today, when you and Syaoran were off distracted by the other mercenaries? We were all so busy fighting, we might not have even heard anything."

"Oh no, I couldn't," Little Kitty gasped. "I don't know - I don't know anything about swords."

"Kurogane, you can't be serious! She's just a child!" Fai exclaimed. "And a girl, at that! You can't possibly be suggesting teaching her how to fight!"

"She's the same age as Syaoran, and he's been training for four years," Kurogane said flatly. "You've known her since she was a babe, so it's no wonder you'd still see her that way. But the plain fact is she's in more danger than any of us - she's got to know how to defend herself."

A sullen silence followed - Fai knew he was right, but he wasn't ready to let go of his protective mindset. Kurogane knew all about that, but he also knew that you did children and apprentices no favors by wrapping them up in swaddling cloth.

"At the very least, she needs to know how to get away from any enemy who tries to grab her," Kurogane continued. No one would expect violence from someone that small, and it didn't take much strength of limb for a stomp on the instep or a kick to the groin to be effective. "She's a bit small for a sword, but it would be a good idea to get her a knife, maybe something she can hide in her clothes."

"And who would teach her to use it? You?" Fai's voice had a dangerous bite.

"Me?" Kurogane snorted disbelief at the idea. "Are you kidding? I'm twice her height and more than twice her weight. No, I figured the kid could do it."

"Syaoran?" Little Kitty said, startled, even as the boy in question exclaimed "Who, me?"

"Sure," Kurogane said, turning to face his student. "You know more about what a shorter, skinnier fighter needs to know against a bigger opponent - let's face it, pretty much any enemy she faces is going to be bigger than her. And besides, re-teaching your lessons to someone else will help you learn them better."

Syaoran's objections folded, and Little Kitty was listening to this debate with growing delight. Fai still looked like he was ready to argue, so Kurogane leaned in and said under his breath "And besides, it will give them lots of opportunity to go off and practice together… and leave us alone."

After a long moment, Fai said in a voice of grudging amusement, "You fight dirty, Kuro-warrior."

"I fight to win," Kurogane corrected him. He straightened up from the altar and stretched, wincing as his various injuries pulled. But he didn't feel the sharp pain or trickling liquid of renewed bleeding, so he supposed he'd live. He reclaimed his undershirt and put it on carefully; it was wreck, sliced into tatters and stained with blood and mud and sweat, but it was the only one he had with him, and there was no chance that either Fai's or Syaoran's spares would fit him.

Syaoran had found some food in the baggage they'd offloaded from the pack mule, and he brought half a loaf of slightly stale bread over to Kurogane, then went to set up a camp stewpot to boil. The girl, shivering now that she was no longer moving around and keeping warm, moved to sit in front of the fire and held her hands out towards it.

"Sensei," Syaoran said, coming to sit crosslegged in front of the fire, next to Little Kitty. "Why were all those men after you, anyway? Were they bandits?"

"A long way from the road for bandits," Fai said thoughtfully. "It looked more like they were hunting you specifically. What happened, Kuro-pon? Did you beat them at cards or something?"

"I'd never seen'em before in my life before today," Kurogane admitted around a mouthful of bread. "At a guess, Xing Hua sent them after me. She was awfully pissed the last time I saw her."

"And who's Xing Hua?" Sudden jealousy sparked in Fai's eyes, and Kurogane almost laughed. "Some lady whose honor you offended?"

"Hardly," Kurogane snorted. "She tried to hire me for a job. I told her that wasn't the kind of job I was interested in. She tried to have her minions kill me, and I killed them instead."

"You did?" The girl looked at him apprehensively, and Kurogane could tell she was picturing another pitched battle like today.

"There were only two of them," Kurogane assured her. The stew was smelling pretty good, so he reached his long arm over to dip the bread in it to soften it.

"Still, hiring seven new mercenaries to hunt you down seems like something of a disproportionate response," Fai mused. "Who was this Xing Hua, some spoiled noble scion, with more money than sense and a vindictive streak a mile wide? And what in God's name did she want to hire you to do, anyway?"

"I doubt it." Kurogane thought back to his conversation with Xing Hua, the little cues and affectations that had all seemed so off to him. Not to mention what he'd found in the money pouch he'd taken off her. He straightened up to look Fai in the eye, and said in a deadly serious voice, "She tried to hire me to assassinate High Priest Tsukishiro."

"_What!"_

"I said no," Kurogane pointed out. The food tasted pretty good, and he hadn't eaten for almost a day; Syaoran passed him a wooden bowl, and he leaned over to ladle out some of the soup.

"I should damn well _hope so!" _Fai exploded, and Kurogane considered calling him out for swearing in front of a maiden, if the situation hadn't been so serious. Both of the children looked astounded; he wasn't sure they'd even noticed the slip. "She wanted you to kill a man of the church? _Why?"_

"I don't know. She didn't explain all her reasons to me," Kurogane said with some irritation.

"But, this is awful!" Syaoran exclaimed. "We have to tell the authorities right away!"

"Don't you think I know that?" Kurogane demanded. "I was on my way to the nearest garrison when they jumped me. I was _trying_ to limit civilian casualties as much as I could - I didn't expect you to come charging in with a couple of _kids _in tow!"

"I wouldn't put anyone in danger if there wasn't a good reason for it," Fai said sharply, a trace of real anger flashing in his blue eyes. "Let alone a child!"

"I hope you don't expect me to just take your word for that," Kurogane said flatly. "What kind of quest could have taken over your brain that would make you think it would be a good idea to drag a maiden along for company?"

Fai sighed. Then he took a deep breath and sat up straighter, squaring his shoulders. "If you must know," he said, "I didn't 'drag her along' on my quest. She _is _ the quest. The Council ordered me to take her and flee from Cattalina when it proved no longer safe, to ward her and keep her hidden from those who sought to harm her."

"Her?" Kurogane's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Why her? What's so special about her?"

Fai moved to stand behind the girl and placed his hands on her shoulders; she looked up to give him a quick, anxious smile before she returned to staring at Kurogane, her hands twisting nervously in her lap. "Because she is Princess Sakura," he said simply. "She is the lost daughter of King Fujitaka and Queen Nadeshiko."

Kurogane stopped chewing, and for a long moment the crackling of the fire was the only sound to be heard. He put the dish aside, and spent a long moment scrutinizing the girl in the firelight. "Huh," he said. "Yeah, I can see that, I guess."

Syaoran sputtered in disbelief, while the girl perked up visibly. "You can?" she said excitedly.

"She's the right age. And I've been to court enough times, I know what the King and Queen look like," he said, picking up his discarded bread and stew again. "I can sort of see the resemblance - you've got the Queen's face, or will once you're a little older, but your dad's coloring."

"_Really?"_ the girl - Sakura - said in utter delight.

"Sure. Haven't you ever seen pictures? What are they teaching you in that convent?"

"Well, the pictures in the book aren't very good," the girl said, flustered. "And I never had any reason to think -"

"You're taking this awfully calmly, Kuro-pon," the mage said in a strangled voice.

"Was I supposed to freak out?" Kurogane demanded. "We've got priests and wizards, assassins and conspiracies and mad spies. Am I supposed to be surprised that there's a lost princess in the mix? It just figures with a fairy tale like the one we've landed in."

"You think all those things are connected somehow, Sensei?" Syaoran interrupted, his brown eyes intent.

"Don't see how they could be _not_ connected," Kurogane said. "You said that it was Nihon who sent the magical attack against Princess Sakura, right?"

Little Kitty nodded, but Fai hedged."Well - we don't have any actual proof," he said. "All we know is that the attacker used a variant of Puritan Church magic. The only enemy of Clow that we know who has the capability of doing that would be… is Fei Wong Reed."

"Who?" Syaoran said, puzzled.

Kurogane answered for him. "The Apostate," he said. It was not really a surprise that Syaoran didn't recognize the man by name; to most of the younger generation of Clow, his name was lost to the mists of history; they only knew of the Apostate, the evil and demonic figure who had denounced the light of God and founded his own satanic cult in Nihon.

Syaoran inhaled sharply, his face paling. "The Apostate, he's real?" he said in a half-whisper. "I thought - I've heard all sorts of stories… they say he sold his soul to the Devil for magical powers, and now he has big black bat wings, and goat's horns on top of his head, and a magical eye that can steal your soul if he sees you without your face covered…"

How the boy could be so knowledgeable about court gossip and politics, and yet so credible about stories clearly made up to frighten children into behaving, Kurogane would never know. But that was always Syaoran's biggest weakness - for such a smart boy, he would believe anything if you pitched it to him with a straight face.

"He is _not_ any kind of a demon," Fai said, his voice sharp with irritation. "Trust me, he's just a man. I never met him in person, but plenty of the older Revered Mages remember him from his time in the Order of Holy Sorcerers. He always did have a flair for the dramatic, so he dressed in big sweeping black robes and a monacle to look more intimidating, and grew his hair out in that stupid sticking-up style - probably to make himself look like he had a halo around his head."

Little Kitty gasped, and Fai broke off mid-rant and turned towards her with some concern. "It's all right, Katherine," he reassured her. "He's dangerous for certain, but he's just a man, and like any man -"

"But he's _not_ just any man, Fai-san," Little Kitty whispered, her eyes huge. "He's the devil in my dreams…"

"What?" Fai's attention riveted on the girl. "What dreams? What dreams are these?"

"I've been having them for months," Little Kitty said, blinking rapidly. She wrung her hands in her lap. "Every night I dreamt of a man, with white streaks in his black hair, and a forked beard growing from his chin, with one glass eye and terrible dark horns around his head. He never spoke, but I always got the feeling that he was searching for _me,_ somehow, and I was terrified that he would find me…"

"How is that possible?" Fai whispered. "You've never seen what he looks like -"

"It could just be a coincidence," Kurogane said to Fai. "If she'd heard stories about the Apostate, or seen a portrait of him…"

"All the portraits or descriptions of that man left in Clow were destroyed long ago," Fai said savagely. "And no one who remembers what he looked like speaks of him any more. Most of the children don't even know his name."

Fai took a deep breath, and knelt down in front of the girl. "Katherine, why did you never tell me about these dreams?" he said, making his voice as gentle as possible.

Tears brimmed in Little Kitty's eyes. "I thought I was dreaming of the Devil," she said in a small voice. "I thought he was trying to tempt me to… to do evil things. I told Father Miguel in confessional, but he just said to concentrate on prayed and put it out of my mind…"

"Of course, Miguel doesn't know a prophetic dream from a tea leaf," Fai muttered savagely. "If only we'd known earlier -" He cut himself off, shaking his head.

"It doesn't matter now," Kurogane said. "But this pretty much seals it, doesn't it. That fork-bearded bastard is the one who's been searching for her, and the one who attacked her in Cattalina."

Fai looked at Kurogane. "But you didn't ask if it was the Apostate that attacked Princess Sakura," he said. "You asked if it was _Nihon._ Do you think Fei Wong Reed is working together with King Ashura on this one?"

"Yeah," Kurogane said. "Because I think they're all in this together. Xing Hua - that's the woman who tried to hire me to kill the priest - she's a Nihon agent."

Little Kitty gasped aloud, while Syaoran went pale with shock. "Are you absolutely sure?" Fai asked, leaning forward intently.

In response, Kurogane reached around to his belt and dug out the pouch of money he'd taken off Xing Hua. He tossed it towards Fai, who caught it mid-air and pulled the drawstring free. Inside was not only money - coins of various denominations both silver and gold, minted in both Clow and Nihon styles - but a thick, heavy medallion of lead. Fai spilled it onto his palm and tilted it towards the light, which glinted off the incised wings-and-diamond of the Nihon Royal Seal. Fai's indrawn breath hissed past his teeth.

He looked up at Kurogane. "This proves it," he said. "Nihon is trying to meddle in the court at Celestina."

Kurogane nodded agreement. "There's just one thing I don't get," he said.

"What's that?" Syaoran wanted to know.

"Why now?" Kurogane asked simply. "Did he know where she was all along, or not? If he didn't know, then what changed so that he found out? If he did know, then why did he wait until that very moment to launch his attack?"

"It's impossible," Fai said, but he didn't sound very certain of it, Kurogane thought. "There's no way he could have known for that whole time…"

"Nothing unusual happened in the last few weeks, I don't think," Sakura said. "Unless you count Syaoran and me - well - but that can't have anything to do with it." She blushed.

"Was anything going to change soon?" Kurogane asked.

"Kitty-san was going to take her initiation into the Order soon," Syaoran put in. "Maybe he wanted to stop that from happening."

"The convent and the orphanage are about equally well guarded," Kurogane said, envisioning the church complex in his head: walls, moats, gates. "It wouldn't be any harder to attack her there, if he wanted her dead."

"Yes, but he's never wanted her dead," Fai said, and his voice was uncharacteristically grim. "That's not what this has been about - not from the beginning. He wanted her alive, so that he could wipe out her mind like a soulless doll, and implant whatever ideas of his in her empty body that he wanted to."

Sakura shivered, and Fai looked down and mustered a smile for her, hugging her tightly for a brief moment. "I won't let it happen, Little Kitty," he said gently. "But it won't help you any to be ignorant of the dangers. Fei Wong Reed will show you no mercy."

"All right, so he doesn't want to kill her," Kurogane said. "He wants to control her. For what? No offense, Princess, but you're just a daughter - not even their eldest child. Touya is the crown prince, and while he's not as blindly devoted a Puritan as his parents, he's dutiful enough. He'd never give his allegiance to Fei Wong Reed and his scum, no matter what he tricked the little sister into saying or doing."

"Um, actually," Syaoran said unexpectedly. "I guess you hadn't heard…"

Fai and Kurogane both looked at the boy in surprise. "Heard what?" Kurogane said.

"W-well, about the friction between the Prince and his parents," Syaoran said, stuttering slightly with surprise at being asked. "Prince Touya is _usually _ very obedient, yes, but - not always. Recently his parents have been putting pressure on him to end his - relationship with the High Priest so that he can get married. He's refused, but they won't take no for an answer - it's causing a lot of bitterness between them."

"What? Why now?" Fai said with surprise. "His parents have been fine with it for years."

"Yes, but the Archbishop has been petitioning them lately," Syaoran had said. "That's why he's spending so much time at Anna-Metrushka. I thought you would have heard about that - it is Church business, after all."

"Well, yes," Fai admitted with a slight flush. "But it's never been part of _our _ business, the Holy Sorcerers."

"Why's the boy being such a stubborn pig about it?" Kurogane asked. "He can always meet Yukito in secret even after he's married - he has to know that he'll need to take a wife sooner or later. Clow needs an heir. Boy's got duties."

"They've suggested that, but the Prince still refuses," Syaoran said with a shrug. "He's young and in love, and just because he's dutiful doesn't mean he's not stubborn. Also, from what I hear some of the younger nobles - especially the ones that are wealthier, but lower ranked, like Kyle Rondart - have been spending more time with the Prince recently, and encouraging him to defy his parents. It's got a lot of people worried, especially because a lot of people are suspicious about where the Rondart family suddenly got hold of so much money."

Syaoran looked up, and noticed that all three of them were staring at him, with varying degrees of surprise and admiration. He blushed. "What?" he demanded.

"How on earth do you find all this out, Syaoran?" Fai said. "If you _were_ a spy, I'd be worried about how you get so much information in so short a time."

"I'm not!" Syaoran yelped, his blush going fiery red. "I just ask people, that's all! People like to talk about what's worrying them!"

"I think Syaoran-kun is very smart," Little Kitty said defiantly, glaring indiscriminately around the room while her hand curled around Syaoran's.

"So Rondart has a sudden influx of money," Fai mused, rolling the golden Nihon coins through his fingers. "Money like this, I wonder?"

"All right, so the kid and his parents are having a spat," Kurogane said. "That still doesn't explain what good it would do for Nihon to kill _Yukito. _Everyone knows Prince Touya hates Nihon because he still thinks they stole his sister. If they killed his lover on top of that, he'd never forgive them."

"Not unless he thought it was someone else who did it," Little Kitty said slowly. "Then he'd get mad at them, instead."

"What?" Fai sat up straight. "Who else would it be?"

"If Xing Hua could hire that many mercenaries," Syaoran said, following Little Kitty's line of thought. "Why not just attack the High Priest directly? But instead, she tried to hire _you. _Why you? She had to know it was a risk, approaching an outsider for this mission."

"I'm the best," Kurogane said simply. "Probably she'd heard my reputation."

"She might have heard a lot more of your reputation than you think, Sensei," Syaoran said gravely. "Think about it. The Puritan church is clamoring for Touya to put aside his lover, but he won't. Then a renegade Knight of the Templars - one famous for denouncing sin and corruption within the Church - comes back a few weeks later and kills the High Priest. What would that look like?"

"You're not suggesting he would blame the _Puritan_ church for the murder?" Fai said, aghast.

"I think that's exactly what she wanted to happen," Kurogane said grimly.

"Then the Princess turns up from the dead," Syaoran gave Little Kitty a wan smile and squeezed her hand. "All full of ideas about the wonderful miracle of Libertarianism - prince and princess, both of them united against the Puritan Church, and against their parents."

"But that doesn't make any sense," Fai sputtered. "Why would anyone believe that the Church Elders would send an assassin after one of _their own order? _If they were really so displeased with him, all they'd have to do is recall him from his post. In the absolute worst case scenario, excommunication - but _assassination?_ Of one of _our own clerics?" _

"Mage, stop thinking like a respectable priest for just a minute," Kurogane said sharply. "How rational d'you think the prince is likely to be when his own boyfriend has been murdered, apparently by Puritan assassins? He's going to completely lose his shit."

"Kuro-sama!" Fai came back to himself with a start. "Don't use such obscenity in the company of the children."

Kurogane rolled his eyes. "It doesn't matter now," he said impatiently. "Don't you see - they tried to hire me to do their dirty work for them. I refused, so they tried to kill me to shut me up. But that doesn't mean they haven't already hired someone else to do the same damn job!"

"If the Crown Prince went against the King and the Queen, that would divide everyone," Little Kitty said, thinking aloud as she worked through the implications of such a plot. "Some people would support the King, but other people would support the Prince, just because he's younger and he'll be King someday. It - it might mean war."

For a moment silence hovered in the abandoned church, and the horrific specter of a bloody revolution roiled through the damp air. "Just like what happened in Nihon," Fai said softly. "Parent against child - friend against brother - Puritan against Libertarian."

"It would be the perfect time for King Ashura to strike," Kurogane said, thinking through the strategic implications of such a civil war. "Just when Clow's defenses are down, the soldiers not knowing who to obey - in rides King Ashura and his army, and bang! He could be sitting in Celestina before anyone knew what was happening."

"And then Ashura dies, and leaves Fei Wong Reed an empire of two countries," Fai finished, his face bleak and pale.

"We can't let this happen!" Little Kitty cried out, horrified. "We have to stop them!"

"I know, Little Kitty, but how?" Fai said. "Kuro-hound is strong and brave, and Syaoran is clever and loyal, but it's not like we can invade Nihon by ourselves."

"We can at least go to Celestina to warn the High Priest," Kurogane said firmly. "Tell the royal family all we know about the plot."

"We're going to Celestina?" Little Kitty said, immediately diverted by the thought of returning to the city of her birth, the family from which she'd been separated. "The capital! The castle! The actual _cathedral of Anna-Metrushka._ Oh, Fai-san, are we really? This is so wonderful!"

Syaoran, however, looked worried. "But we don't have proof for most of this," he said. "What will we tell them if they want to know how we know?"

"This, at least," Fai held up the lead seal that had been in the money pouch. "We know that an enemy agent is abroad in the land, and that she tried to hire people to assassinate the High Priest. Even if we can't prove anything beyond that, hopefully we can at least protect Yukito."

"They'll listen to us, at least," Kurogane said. "When a former Knight Templar and a Revered Mage say something, people listen."

"Well, then," Fai said lightly into the silence that followed. "If that's all settled, it's late and we're all tired, and _some _of us are injured. I suggest we get some rest, if we're to set out for Celestina in the morning."

* * *

><p>~ (discontinued.)<p>

**Author's Notes**: This fic is officially being discontinued. My apologies for starting an epic-style fic and then abandoning it halfway through.

As the earlier Author's Notes stated, this was a remix of an existing fic. The fic it was based on, _Black Cat White Mage, _is also a work-in-progress. Its published storyline stops - more or less - in the same place, with the four travelers deciding to go to Celestina to prevent the assassination of High Prince Yukito. Since I don't know how sweetjerry intended to conclude her own fic, this one ends here.

It might be that someday I'll come back and pick up this story in order to provide it with some sort of closure, but don't count on it. I have a lot of other projects in the queue, including new chapters of _Heralds of the White God_, _Not Quite Paradise_, _Missing Worlds_, _Family Portrait_ and a few other standalone pieces which were placed on hold while I worked on this challenge.

Thank you for reading!


End file.
